Chapter 7 : Flashback

The person who opened the door and entered was Selene’s lady-in-waiting and childhood nanny, Mrs. Gwendolyn.
Selene quickly asked, “Did it arrive?”
A faint smile lingered on Gwendolyn’s face as she held the music journal.
“Must you read it…?”
This was not a good sign.
However, Selene had been eagerly anticipating the arrival of that music journal for a whole month.
It was because a critique of her performance at the competition was written in that music journal, which was only published in the Kingdom of Velora.
If she had her way, she would have bought it on the day of its publication, but as it had to be imported from abroad, it took time to get her hands on it.
Selene suppressed her anxious heart and held out her hand to Gwendolyn.
Gwendolyn sighed and handed over the magazine.
The pages turned quickly under her impatient fingers.
Where, where… Found it!
As it was a renowned piano competition, the critique was spread over two pages.
The largest portion of it was, of course, about Selene, the winner.

[A Perfect Performance! Is There Anyone Who Can Realize a Score as Perfectly as Selene Ashcombe?]

For a piece written by the notoriously infamous critic Jean Gabin, it was a very generous headline.
Steeling her racing heart, Selene focused and read the critique.

[No one will be able to call her a pianist from a high noble family anymore. Even without the halo of the ducal family, she has been reborn as a perfect pianist in this competition, and has been reinvented as a wonderful musician.
Her technical skill was by far the most overwhelming of her talents. It was similar to directly witnessing the process of a master perfectly painting a still life on a canvas.
After the breathtaking solo ended, people forgot to clap for a while and only started a standing ovation after a few seconds, a fact no one could deny.]

At the praise from the notoriously vicious critic, Selene’s eyes sparkled, and her lips formed a curve.

[However, that’s not to say there were no regrets. Because in a well-drawn still life, there is only precision, and one cannot feel what it is trying to convey.
The main piece she chose was a nocturne that captured the atmosphere and tranquility of a night where the fire is out and ashes fly, but instead of singing of the serene night sky, it seemed as if she were reciting rigid letters. Not just this time, but she was pointed out for the same problem in a previous competition and ended up in third place.
If the same problem repeats in the next competition, her heyday may end here.]

However, at the following content, Selene’s expression gradually clouded over and soon became filled with noticeable disappointment, prompting Gwendolyn to place a hand on her shoulder.
“There are no geniuses who are perfected at once. They experience failure and frustration and use it as nourishment to develop.”
Even with Gwendolyn’s gentle comfort, Selene couldn’t immediately shake off her gloom.
In fact, she herself knew that while she played with precision, she lacked expressiveness.
Of course, she knew she couldn’t do everything perfectly, but as the critique ended more harshly than expected, she couldn’t help but feel her spirits sink.
The reason she felt this way was because Selene was more serious about the piano than anyone else.
When she, who wanted for nothing, announced she would major in piano, people thought she was just picking up a hobby to stand out as times were changing, but that wasn’t it; Selene really wanted to play the piano well.
No, she didn’t want to just be good at playing the piano, she wanted to make a name for herself as a pianist and receive more recognition from people.
She wanted to play more diverse pieces with depth.
Selene suddenly found herself reminiscing.
When did it start?
When did she come to love the piano so much?
Before long, a faint fragment of memory surfaced.
The piano, which she had only considered a space-consuming piece of furniture, caught her eye after she heard that her parents, who had participated in the war, had died side by side.
Overnight, her loving parents became beings she could never meet again.
Selene didn’t know how to resolve this tidal wave of emotions, and the child’s insides silently rotted away.
It was Gwendolyn, her nanny, who sat Selene in front of the piano.
She, who was around the same age as her grandmother, had learned the piano in the past but had given up due to her family’s poor financial situation and was working for the ducal family.

“If you can’t cry, why don’t you try playing this piano? These keys will cry out for you.”

Even though the advice didn’t really resonate with her, Selene wanted to try something, so she placed her hands on the keyboard.
Plink, plonk, a terrible sound came out.
But for some unknown reason, there was a resonance in her heart.
The sound of the keys, resonating with her fingers, really did sound like someone’s cry, and also like someone’s laughter.
Once she could understand the score and play the pieces, she had an even more amazing experience.
When she played a waltz, the piano room, where she was alone, transformed into a ballroom bustling with people, and when she played a march, she stood in the middle of a procession of imperial soldiers.
As her skills grew, Selene became more and more fascinated with the piano.
The piano was her tool for experiencing the world, and her language for communication.
So, she was afraid.
If she stopped developing here and came to a halt, she would be cut off from the world and her voice would disappear.
Selene, who had been ruminating on old memories, lifted her head.
“Gwen, there’s a year left until the Nordica International Piano Competition, right?”
It was the largest piano competition, where pianists from all over the Nordica continent participated.
If she won the competition, which was held once every four years, she could go to study at the Mulshe Graduate School, where the world’s piano geniuses gathered.
Although that graduate school was located on another continent and required crossing the sea, it was a prestigious graduate school that one could never get into with just money.
It was a huge opportunity for Selene.
But the more she recognized it as a big opportunity, the more her thoughts grew, which was the problem.
Because she had become overly cautious, Selene hadn’t even been able to choose her pieces yet.
Gwendolyn, as if she knew what Selene was worrying about, comforted her gently.
“Even if you haven’t chosen your pieces yet, with your skill level, a year is plenty of time. You’re not late at all.”
As she said, memorizing the score perfectly and playing without mistakes was one of Selene’s greatest strengths.
Nevertheless, her worries did not disappear because the Nordica International Competition had, for generations, emphasized the interpretation that fits the original piece and the delicate musical expression that matches it.
It was clear that if she failed to express the piece richly with emotion this time as well, her expectations as a pianist would vanish.
Her sigh deepened.
“Gwen, I’ll be concentrating late into the night again today, so you don’t have to bring me dinner.”
Gwendolyn replied with a gentle voice, though her eyes were filled with worry.
“If you need anything, please call me anytime.”
The clear sound of piano keys could be heard through the crack of the closed piano room door.

After being kicked out of the Ashcombe ducal estate like that, Theron had to suffer from auditory hallucinations of ‘society’s cancer’ and ‘two-faced hypocrite’ for a while.
But other than that, he was mostly fine.
Rather, every time he heard the auditory hallucinations, his desire for victory burned, and he resolved to make those cold eyes blur with heat and the lips that spat venom call his name desperately.
For the same reason, the place Theron visited today was the private residence of her uncle, Colonel Ashcombe.
Orlando Ashcombe, who was already in the drawing-room, was smoking a cigar and leaning comfortably on the sofa.
“You’ve arrived right on time. Care for one yourself?”
Ashcombe offered his cigar case, but Theron declined.
“I’m fine.”
Strangely, nothing appealed to him these days.
Even if it made sense that he wouldn’t want to see a woman for a while after being so burned by Selene, it was strange that he had come to distance himself from even cigars and alcohol, which he loved so much.
“Why? Is something wrong? As far as I know, your business is booming, and a young man like you shouldn’t have health problems.”
“…”
“Or perhaps, the situation with my niece isn’t going as you had planned?”
Through the exhaled smoke, Orlando’s smiling face could be seen.