A Weight I Chose to Carry

The concerned face Yooseong was sending from right beside him didn’t particularly move him, but the members of Cha.N were a bit different.

Hanbyeol had watched every single episode of [Pick, My Dol!] live to support his brother’s debut.

Throughout the broadcast period, Yooseong had good chemistry with the current members, who got along well during team missions, and he had even placed them together with Yooseong on the website voting list.

These weren’t just anyone; they were idols he had chosen himself, so he couldn’t help but feel weak.

Moreover, knowing they had no younger siblings and cherished him like their own, he couldn’t be cold-hearted.

“What program is it?”

“Pick My Dol 4.

The broadcast in two weeks is the live stage performance.

So, we came after watching a practice session.”

“Ah…”

Hanbyeol looked at the screen with vacant eyes.

No matter how much it was a survival idol debut program, he couldn’t help but think of [Pick, My Dol!] Season 1, which had been unbelievably grueling.

Now, Cha.N lived a glamorous life in the entertainment industry with high popularity, but the first season of [Pick, My Dol!] was truly bleak by anyone’s standards.

While basic details like the participants’ height and weight were on the website, phone numbers, residential areas, and even home addresses leaked, causing all the participants immense distress.

Because people, wanting to learn about Yooseong, frequently visited and camped out at his graduated or attending schools, causing neurosis, the people around him did the opposite and didn’t reveal Hanbyeol’s information.

Thanks to that, Hanbyeol could attend school quietly.

As more and more people sought him out, at first, Yooseong avoided coming home as much as possible to ease his parents’ opposition.

But after gaining support, he avoided returning home to reduce his family’s exposure.

“Doesn’t it… upset your stomach? The editing and such…”

At Hanbyeol’s words, the members gave bitter smiles.

They seemed to be recalling all the situations they had endured while appearing on [Pick, My Dol!] Season 1.

“The juniors aren’t at fault.”

Perhaps because they were a popular group?

No matter how long he waited, Cha.N’s appearance didn’t show.

Despite having previewed Cha.N’s appearance in the last episode, the time continued with the Season 4 participants’ practice room footage and exaggerated small conflicts.

It was just when everyone slightly furrowed their brows at the editing they had all experienced at least once.

“Ah, right. Hanbyeol-ah, did Yooseong-ah tell you?”

As if trying to brighten the gloomy mood, Danyoung spoke in a cheerful voice.

Hanbyeol, who had been looking at the TV, glanced at Yooseong for a moment and nodded.

“About following you to the event on Saturday?”

“Yeah. They said there’ll be fireworks at night too. We thought it would be better for stress relief to take a little break as a trip rather than just studying, so we agreed it was a good idea.”

“Yes… I have to go.”

Because if I don’t, it’ll be a disaster…

As if not noticing Hanbyeol’s half-dead, vacant look, the Cha.N members clapped excitedly, making Hanbyeol sigh.

‘If it weren’t for Yooseong hyung’s heat cycle, I wouldn’t be following him.’

Hanbyeol glared at Yooseong, eyes full of resentment.

Then, annoyed that Yooseong was pretending not to notice his gaze while trying to watch the TV screen, he grabbed his forearm tightly.

“…Too much stress isn’t good. Okay? Hanbyeol-ah.”

At Yooseong’s words, Hanbyeol drew a crossroad with a vein on his forehead and raised the corners of his mouth.

Yeah, the reason we’re in this situation is because of hyung’s stress.

But what about my stress, you bastard!

As Hanbyeol confirmed the members had turned their attention back to the TV, he tightened his grip, and Yooseong squirmed, suppressing a groan.

****

“Is your head spinning a lot? Is your stomach okay?”

“Hyung… I’m sorry, but please shut up…”

“Yes…”

Suffering from severe car sickness, Hanbyeol had eventually slumped in the passenger seat.

The members and Yooseong, sitting in the back seat, whispered with anxious voices.

They hadn’t been on the Gyeongbu Expressway long after leaving Seoul.

Everything turned yellow, the buses ahead looked blurry, and the cars in the next lane wobbled sickeningly.

“There’s a bus following us too, and we have to keep to our schedule, so we can’t go any slower…”

The manager in the driver’s seat spoke with an apologetic face.

Hanbyeol couldn’t bring himself to say it was okay and just waved his hand.

“Actually, it’s better to get there quickly…”

Since he was going to suffer anyway, it was better to arrive quickly.

The members’ voices, suggesting they stop at a rest area to buy some medicine or a drink, gradually faded.

It was all pointless anyway.

Hanbyeol had already put motion sickness patches behind his ears and taken motion sickness medicine before departure.

A cool touch met Hanbyeol’s forehead where he lay.

At the hand slowly stroking his hair, Hanbyeol opened his mouth with difficulty.

“It’s dangerous, so sit properly…”

At Hanbyeol’s words, the hand fell away.

The regret mixed in Yooseong’s sigh reached Hanbyeol.

What should I do about my brother? The slow, quiet worry grew fainter bit by bit.

“…Hyung is sorry.”

At Yooseong’s voice, the members chided him, ‘Yooseong-ah messed up~.’

Though playful, the regret was the same for the Cha.N members too.

But Hanbyeol knew the apology in Yooseong’s voice wasn’t just about his car sickness, so he had no intention of scolding him.

He was the one who had decided to protect Yooseong’s idol activities.

So, he could endure this level of hardship.

At least this was a burden he could share.

Isn’t Choi Meteo (Yooseong) just f*cking awful? They should do the ‘genius’ image-making in moderation. That bastard doesn’t have a training period, right? They’re pushing the narrative that he practiced all night alone and got into the high-grade class—do you seriously think that makes sense?

Honestly, he probably went to an academy. Shouldn’t academy time count as a training period too?

Probably paid off someone.

The birth of a genius-idol who starts off pretending to be incapable lol

Fake fake fake fake

Choi-fake, come clean and leave.

Vnet’s son lol

The raw criticism poured toward Yooseong left a huge scar on Hanbyeol.

Unlike other participants who were former trainees with some recognition, Yooseong was the only non-trainee participant and received public scrutiny.

No matter how much they pleaded that Yooseong hadn’t attended practical music or dance academies, all they got back was ridicule.

No matter how they responded, and responded again, it felt like shouting into a thick, muffling wall.

Hanbyeol had to helplessly watch his brother get cursed at, over and over again.

That was a burden he couldn’t share.

So, while Yooseong was participating in the program, Hanbyeol had to watch the hateful comments directed at his brother, crying, and collect them one by one, saving them as a PDF.

He also took screenshots, even as his hands shook from the harsh words.

It was to hand over all the materials to the agency he would contract with if he debuted, and to proceed with a lawsuit together with his parents if he didn’t debut.

But after his brother debuted with Cha.N and gained many fans, Hanbyeol actually avoided going online.

He absolutely did not search for Yooseong or his brother’s members either.

He only checked what needed to be checked, listened to their songs, and watched the latest artists’ videos.

He especially never checked the comment sections.

Because if he searched for his brother or Cha.N, he would be faced with endless malice, images of them halting activities, or their anxiousness under public scrutiny.

Since his brother had debuted, dealing with this became the agency’s role, so to avoid getting hurt, Hanbyeol didn’t delve deep into the internet.

“It’s okay. Really. If I rest…”

So now, it was actually okay.

At least he could share the burden and make the situation better.

His brother had been cursed at even for things that weren’t true.

Hanbyeol believed revealing his omega designation was something Yooseong should do confidently when he himself was prepared.

So, buying his brother time to sort out his feelings was something he, as a younger brother, could sufficiently help with.

“Hanbyeol-ah.”

Hanbyeol opened his eyes at his brother’s voice calling him.

His head still throbbed from motion sickness, but perhaps because the car had stopped, his stomach felt better than when they were on the expressway.

“Are you okay?”

But it wasn’t a parking lot.

Judging by the fact they had moved by car right behind the stage, they could see the tent being used as a waiting room.

Seeing the already dimming sky, Hanbyeol pressed his hand to his forehead.

“Can you get out?”

“Uh…”

Hanbyeol forced his continuously slumping body to sit up.

Since they needed to move into the tent, those sitting in the back were all preparing to get out, gathering their things.

Hanbyeol, having just tagged along, could have stayed in the van, but just the thought of sitting in the car made his stomach churn, so he decided to watch the stage from inside the tent.

But since there would be fans zooming in with cameras from afar to take pictures of his brother and the others, Hanbyeol planned to endure a bit longer in the van before getting out, only unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Let’s get out, Hanbyeol-ah.”

“No. Hyung, you go first.”

Thud. The car door opened.

A large person opened the passenger door and looked down at Hanbyeol.