Chapter 7: Being a ‘female’

Incarnation.

I have seen a wolf in human skin.

Whether it was a dream or reality didn’t matter.

I had seen it.

Whether it was yesterday or today didn’t matter.

The result of having seen it was important.

Thump thump thump-

“Semin, what are you doing!!? Aren’t you going to school!!? What’s wrong!!”

I’ve lived a life full of shortcomings.

Too many, too many, I’ve lived a life where I had to live with every screw in my head removed.

But it was all my choice, and even if there was an irresistible force at play, it was clear that my choice was mixed in.

Incarnation, incarnation.

If only I could incarnate, if I were a wild animal.

If I were an irregular who could achieve hundreds of years of evolution in a few hours.

Dum dum dum dum-

Scary, scary, scary, scary, scary.

I can’t sleep, I want to sleep.

I want to meet the fox lady, I want to be held in her arms, I want to be buried in that huge cleavage and die, I want to be buried in that rich tail fur and fall asleep.

I need to sleep.

I need to sleep, but.

I hugged the blanket tightly, but I couldn’t sleep, not even closing my eyes, trembling on the bed for two days.

My lips were dry, and I kept thinking.

I kept recalling.

On that sofa, trapped in the basement.

If I had realized it 10 seconds later, even a moment later, I would have lost my virginity in the real world.

No, it doesn’t matter if I lose my virginity or my first time.

Me.

Me, to Hyeji.

To Hyeji, who was a trusted friend.

Moreover, to the same s*x, no, to the opposite s*x, no.

No no, no no no.

No, no, no no, no.

“I….”

What am I, what am I?

What the hell am I?

Man, no.

I don’t have a penis, I’m not a man.

Am I a woman?

A woman, but.

Why did Hyeji target me?

A man, isn’t it common sense that Hyeji likes men?

Just me, she likes me? Even if my body changed? She became a lesbian?

It doesn’t make sense, right?

It’s cold and stinging, like ice on my skin.

My shoulders keep shaking, my body trembles.

The fearful sensation of being raped continues to eat away at my body.

It gnaws.

Scary.

“Are you sick..? Please, Semin, what’s wrong..!”

I heard my mother’s mournful voice.

In that situation, my ears could hear that voice.

The trembling stopped.

Yeah, work.

I have to work.

I have to earn money.

Yeah.

Let’s get a grip.

Click-

“Se, Semin!? Are you okay..!?”

Emotions are fleeting illusions, only the result remains.

My mother needs me, and my family and I need money.

The fact that I was almost raped ended up not happening.

So that’s it.

If I, didn’t get raped, that’s it.

Let’s go to school.

I’m not late yet.

“If, if something happens, tell me..”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll be back.”

Click, beep-

My whole body was still shivering and cold as if I had a cold, but it will calm down soon.

It’s just cold.

Hyeji is still my friend.

Nothing happened to me.

Patter, patter-

If today passes, I can meet the fox lady.

If today passes, she will come tomorrow too.

My life is unchanged.

Just, just.

“Haa..”

It’s hard to breathe.

Creak

I arrived at school and entered the classroom.

Hyeji sat in her seat with a dark expression, and as soon as she met my eyes, she avoided my gaze.

Her shoulders were slumped, and she had a gloomy face as if she were a criminal.

Is she a model student with a conscience?

What am I saying.

“Huh?”

“Good morning, did you eat something wrong? You don’t look well.”

I approached Hyeji friendly, hit her shoulder, and greeted her warmly.

“….Uh, how…”

Did the film not go out? Hyeji remembered everything that happened the day before yesterday.

“Did something happen?”

When I said as if nothing had happened, Hyeji looked at me blankly.

“…..Ah, no…”

“Right?”

She brightened up.

“Whatever happened, don’t be too gloomy~”

And soon, I checked Hyeji’s condition and was about to return to my seat.

Tap-

“Kyaaaak!!!!”

But,

“Semin…….Ah..”

When Hyeji grabbed my wrist,

For some reason, I screamed.

But I immediately changed my expression and looked at Hyeji, asking what was wrong.

“You… It’s not..”

Hyeji said with an anxious face.

“….You, didn’t forgive me..”

I tried to refute, saying what are you talking about.

“What

“Your arm, why is it shaking…?”

But I don’t know since when, no.

Already, a long time ago, I was shaking the hand that touched Hyeji.

Drip-

“…Why.. are you sweating so much..?”

I was sweating, as if I had turned on a faucet.

“Why…did you pretend to forget….?”

It’s a really funny situation.

…

Why, then, did you want me not to forget?”

Tap-

The person who should be most happy if I forget, asked why I forgot.

It’s a ridiculous situation.

“Don’t forget, keep aching, keep hurting, be scared, be afraid, hug your knees, close your eyes tightly, and curse you..?”

I was swept away by emotions.

Again.

Again.

Again.

I couldn’t win.

Is it because my body changed, or.

Or.

“Do you want me to hate you!! Huh!!?”

I know.

I’m incredibly scared of Hyeji.

I was unconsciously imprinted that even if she grabbed my arm and raped me here, I wouldn’t know.

So when my arm was grabbed, I screamed reflexively.

But Hyeji and I weren’t late.

Rather, in an empty classroom, I could yell at Hyeji, snapping at her.

“…..I, I…. I..!!”

But my pupils were already out of focus.

My pupils were constantly moving, not knowing where to rest, and I tried to calm down, holding my trembling wrist, but I couldn’t.

“..I, hate you so much…!!”

And in the end, I blurted it out.

“You rapist….!!! You trash…!!!!”

I couldn’t overcome the violently fluctuating emotions, and I forgot the words that emotions are fleeting illusions that I had been repeating until I arrived at school.

I shouted all the abusive language at Hyeji, who was standing still.

“Die!!!”

Tap tap, creak

I ran away from the classroom.

Tap tap tap

I ran away from school.

Click-

I came home.

Thud-

On the floor, I collapsed.

Now, I didn’t want to do anything.

I definitely

woke up about two hours ago.

Now I really didn’t want to do anything.

No, I didn’t think I could do anything.

It was ridiculous to face fear.

I thought I could.

Living as usual, finishing school safely.

I planned to go

to my part-time job, finish work, come home, and be comforted by the fox lady, releasing all the things that had happened before.

I was going to do that.

I was going to do that, but.

It’s hard to breathe.

I unbuttoned my shirt, took off my underwear and threw it away.

But still, something keeps pressing on my chest.

It’s painful, it’s painful.

Help me.

Please, anyone.

I think I’m going to suffocate.

Swish-

“If you sleep here, your mouth will droop, Se-min~”

I didn’t fall asleep.

I definitely.

It became hard to breathe, so I was crawling on the floor, holding my chest.

And, and.

Hug-

“Fox… lady..!!!”

I don’t know.

Just looking at her face, I don’t even know if it’s reality or a dream.

But just that makes all the f*cked up sensations feel washed away.

Because it’s that kind of sensation.

I soon ran and hugged the fox lady, who was looking down at me and smiling.

“Ugh~ What’s wrong, what were you doing without sleeping yesterday~”

“Ugh…!! Ugh…!!”

Tears poured out.

It hurts, it’s hard, it’s painful.

But I didn’t want to tell my mother.

No, did I think I couldn’t rely on my mother?

Because I have to support her, I kept thinking that.

Because my brother and sister don’t care.

Because I’m the only one looking after my mother.

I have to.

I was thinking.

As soon as the fox lady appeared, I couldn’t hold back my tears.

“….You were having a hard time.”

“Hic..!! Ugh…!! Ugh, ugh…!!!”

The fox lady hugged my waist, gently stroked my head, and whispered.

“…I knew it would happen“

“Gasp, ugh…!!

Ugh..!!”

Slide-

And soon, she touched my neck.

Smell… I’ll erase it right away…”

“Ugh..?”

Thinking about it, she brought her mouth to my neck, which was completely shirtless.

Crunch-

“Gasp..!!?”

She bit.

“Gasp, gasp…!! Ugh…!!”

“…Chuuu..”

Hickey, it was.

It was a hickey.

The fox lady.

Covering the overwritten hickey once again.

Come to think of it, this.

All these things are because of the hickey.

If I hadn’t been caught with the hickey,

Ugh..”

Ah didn’t it happen?

If it hadn’t happened.

Is this a dream or reality? I haven’t fallen asleep.

It’s not like I fainted either.

Then, the fox lady.

Can she manifest?

She never said she couldn’t.

Then the owner of that hickey is, the fox lady is right.

What was only a suspicion has become a confirmation.

Thud-

Hmm..?”

I immediately pushed the fox lady away.

The person who left this on me… It’s you, right..?”

And, I asked.

……That’s right.”

Then the fox lady answered proudly.

“..Hehe, let’s erase the smell first.. It’s a bad smell, right?”

With actions that didn’t care at all about my expression and voice.

She keeps trying to cling.

“Get off…!!!”

Slap-

I hit her properly.

This was reality.

The fox lady had manifested in front of me in her real form, and I had hit the fox lady in reality.

And I was very angry.

“Because of you, I fought with a friend I didn’t have to fight with..!! I got trauma from a friend who took care of me the best..!!!! Is that good..!!? And then you, to me, like that…!!”

It was so, so abominable.

That nonchalant face.

That expression that can’t accept the fact that she was slapped.

To the point where I even want to deny the fact that I loved her until recently, it was abominable.

Grab-

“Ugh..!?”

…

What are you saying, so a leech fell off..?”

But the fox lady, with a voice that really didn’t understand, grabbed the wrist of the hand I slapped her with, lifted it up.

Squeeze-

“Ugh…!!!?”

She grabbed my wrist incredibly tightly, grabbed the other wrist as well, and restrained both hands with one hand.

There are always flies on sweet things, you are my sweet dessert and everything…. I’ll monopolize you, Semin is mine.. Right?”

She whispered.

“…Ugh..!?”

It was dangerous.

This wasn’t a dream.

This was reality.

But the fox lady was making an expression that she really didn’t understand, and this situation.

This appearance is now.

It was a situation I couldn’t do anything about.

If this, if this.

“Let, go…!!!!”

I don’t like it, I don’t like it, I don’t like it, no.

Me, me, I’m completely changing?

Deep down, I couldn’t accept that I had become a woman.

Just like I tried to forget the memory of being easily raped, I just accepted it and avoided reality.

That was my specialty, and the last thing I learned from my father, running away.

“Shut up, Semin is mine.”

“Ugh..!?”

No.

No, my last identity.

Really changing, really.

Here?

At school, running away.

Here, karma, to me.

No, no, no, no.

At least like this, I, like this, my first, first time.

“Haup..”

“Ugh…!!”

I, who was restrained with both arms, couldn’t do anything.

In the first place, my athletic ability was negative, so there was nothing I could do with my legs, and I just tried to avoid the incoming lips, but my chin was grabbed and forced in.

“Chubeup, chup, chup, chubeup… Chubeup, chubeup..”

“Ugh, ugh..!! Ugh, gasp, gasp…!!”

It was strange.

It was different from the sensation I felt in my dreams.

In dreams, it was dreamy and sweet as if I was on drugs, but here.

“Phew, haup.. Chubeup, chup, chup, chubeup…”

“Ugh, gasp, gasp, ugh…!!”

It’s too wet here.

Slippery and squishy, and my tongue is messed up with thick saliva.

It’s bitter.

The sensation of someone else’s saliva being forced into my mouth was so bitter.

It tastes bad.

But I had to keep swallowing.

The fox lady’s saliva that collected in my mouth accumulated faster and more than the amount I swallow when drinking water, and it was trying to go down my throat.

“Gasp, gasp, gasp…”

Eventually, when I couldn’t breathe and tried to faint, showing the whites of my eyes, the fox lady finally took her mouth off.

“Phew…”

“Phew..!! Gasp, gasp, gasp…! Gasp….!!”

Drip, I looked at the string of saliva that stretched out.

Haa, huff… Ah, I like it… Manifesting is the best, thank you Semin….. It’s because of you, you’re my only love, you… Semin is mine forever..”

“Gasp, gasp…. No, o…”

It was an unpleasant sensation.

Like this, forcibly, being completely deprived.

In this appearance, the fox lady taking everything from me.

I really, really don’t like it.

Plop-

“Ugh…!”

The fox lady’s touch threw me onto the bed.

“Haa..”

Slide-

“Gasp…!”

I can’t resist the fox lady’s touch.

I can’t even struggle.

Because I’m already, so tired.

Nothing, no resistance.

Without being able to do anything.

Ah.

“Haa.. Haa, h, hehe, haaa….”

“Gasp, ugh… Ugh…!”

The fox lady buried her face in my stomach, which was laid on the bed, and began to sweep all over.

Her breath tickled.

It’s unpleasant, but my body is starting to heat up.

Forcibly, forcibly starting to heat up.

“Churp, chup… Hehe, smell… It’s strong, Semin’s smell…”

“Ugh..!? Dirty…!!”

Then the fox lady soon licked my navel and muttered, and when I struggled because I was embarrassed by the shame.

Crunch

“Gasp..!!?”

She bit my belly fat and made a hickey.

“….It’s nicely ripe”

“Ugh, ugh…!! No, don’t..! No, no..!!”

She easily took off my pants and slowly went down.

“Ugh, please, please..!! Haa, ugh…!!!!”

“Hehehe….Now you’re completely mine, Semin…”

And soon, I, in the end.

Squish-

“Kyaaa…!!!!?”

I was deprived.

I like it, ah…. Haa, I like it… It’s soft…. This inexperienced form, small and petite…. Haa, h, hehe..!” Haa….

“Gasp, ugh…! Gasp…!”

Tears only flowed.

For some reason, it feels good.

Because the sensation of the tail rubbing my legs is so soft, and it forcibly makes me feel good.

It keeps rubbing my sensitive parts, pinching them slightly, and making me crave pleasure.

Without being able to resist, it took away my innocence.

“Haa, h…! I’ll be with you forever, okay..? You’re mine, Semin is mine..!!”

Sizzle, squish, squish, sizzle

And soon, that act began to intensify.

“Gasp, gasp, ugh..!! Gasp, ugh, gasp, ugh, gasp…!!!”

Sizzle, sizzle, squish, sizzle-

Just like in the dream, I twisted my body, bent my waist, and couldn’t let go of the pleasure that kept coming like a flood even though it was my first time, so I went crazy to the climax.

“No, no no no, ugh…!!!!!! Kyaaa…!!!!”

“Hehehehe…Chuuuup….!”

And the fox lady covered my mouth with hers, put saliva in from above, and took out love juice from below, for hours.

For such a long time, my first experience in reality.

Squish, squish, squish, squish, squish

“I, I…..!! Gasp, a man, but, haaa…!!!” ,

“What, are you saying… Haa, ha, haa……’

I might not have given in.

The personality of when I was still a man remained, so I might have continued to resist.

Drip-

“Hehe…..”

“Hehe….”

But my body was already completely subjugated to the fox lady, who was fiddling with my face and putting her finger in my mouth to harass my tongue.

“I love you…”

I, now completely, neither a man.

Nor a body that can pursue love.

Nor a friend.

I’m a toy of the fox god.

“No.. o…”