Chapter 7: Chat

Here’s my current routine.

First, I wake up around 8 and check off my to-do list for the day.

Most of the things I have to do in the morning are going to the local office, city hall, a mental hospital, the court, or a general hospital.

The gender correction procedure is surprisingly not something that can be easily thought of.

Furthermore, since I became a woman, it’s even more difficult.

Unlike people who have at least the minimum records to support the process, I have nothing at all.

Since I became a woman one day, it was hard to prove that I was me, and so on.

I have to take a lot of tests and a lot of things to do, so I have to go out a few days a week.

If I don’t have anything to do in the moming, I sleep until 10.

Then I wake up and exercise, doing bodyweight exercises like squats, lunges, pushups, and pullups.

Weight training is a bit awkward to do at home, going to the gym is too burdensome, and personal trainers are too expensive.

Anyway, the reason I exercise is because I thought Ts girls would be perfect, but that’s not the case.

I felt like I was gaining weight, so I weighed myself and it was fluctuating towards gaining weight.

My stomach used to be smooth and smooth, but one day I felt like something was catching me..?

So in order to maintain my current body condition, I exercise for an hour and a half every day on days when I don’t have a schedule.

No, I don’t know if I exercise when I was a man, but I do it when I’m a woman.

But honestly, I think my body looks good, so I exercise because I don’t want to just let it be without taking care of it.

After I take care of those things in the morning, or at most in the afternoon, I have free time in the afternoon.

I usually have lunch outside and go to the public library to study. It’s nothing special, just studying Japanese or English, and studying for the CSAT.

When things are good, I always thought that I should study hard, take the CSAT, go to a technical college or engineering school, and become an electrician or something, I should do it in advance when I have time like now.

I’ll have to decide later whether I should study or not. High school studies were really hard.

I gave up on them in middle school, so it’s really hard.

Then I go home, eat, turn on the broadcast, and after about 5 hours of broadcasting from 7 to 12, it’s time to sleep.

This is my daily routine.

I’ve been doing this every day, and it’s been about a month since I became a Ts, but there’s no sign of making money from broadcasting, and if I make a lot a day, it’s like 10,000 to 20,000 won?

It’s not even the minimum wage, so it’s honestly a bit of a headache.

If you think about the basic investment cost while losing money every day, it’s not even comparable.

The initial investment cost is a loss.

But if you think about it the other way around, there’s someone who gives me 20,000 won while playing mahjong and talking nonsense, so how can that be?

Anyway, I’ve been spending a month like that.

For some reason, I feel bad. That’s what I thought as soon as I woke up. My body feels heavy, I feel bad, and why on earth is this happening to me.

I just thought the world is shit and I don’t want to live.

I used to wake up feeling like this sometimes right after my gender changed, but as I got used to it, it rarely happened.

Today wasn’t a gloomy day.

I didn’t have any worries or concerns yesterday.

Emotions are also related to cause and effect, so it’s rare to suddenly feel bad or feel good.

Usually, people like that are chronically ill, but I feel like I have some kind of illness?

Is it similar?

Anyway.

Feeling bad is bad.

I can’t avoid doing things that are bad.

I do some stretching before getting out of bed.

I lie face down, leave my lower body alone, and support my upper body with my arms and push it up.

The weight of my breasts is heavy on my shoulders.

Even though I’m wearing a sleep bra, the weight can’t be helped.

The only good thing about having big breasts is their appearance, but they’re uncomfortable no matter what position I sleep in, so I end up wearing a sleep bralette, but it’s still uncomfortable.

At first, I thought big was better than small. When I put on a big one, there were more than one or two inconveniences.

It really sucks.

I feel like cutting it off with a knife.

I saw in a cartoon before that if you cut it with a knife and then burn it with fire, the bleeding will stop.

If you heat the knife in fire, sterilize it, cut it, and sterilize it again in fire, wouldn’t it be possible to cut it cleanly and clean up?

Hmm… No.

There’s no use in having such negative thoughts.

Negative thoughts are like snowballs, and the more you roll them, the bigger they get. Falling into a chain of negativity is a bad habit.

Big breasts are uncomfortable, but they look good on the outside, right?

Sometimes it’s burdensome to have people staring at you, but for a man, it’s like having a really nice body and being able to wear shorts and go out.

These breasts give you that kind of confidence.

Plus, they’re not just big breasts, they support your face well enough…

But what the heck is the point?

I’m not going to meet a man or have s*x.

Does it make sense to drag around a few kilograms of breasts just to gain that kind of confidence?

I think it’s better to just cut them off.

My mood swings.

What on earth is wrong with TS?

I experience emotions rising and falling every minute.

Still, my motto was to live positively, or at least not with a negative mindset, but today, that’s not happening.

If I can’t even do that, then my life is no different from trash.

Don’t trash have trash lives?

Why do I insist on earning money so legally?

Why on earth do I live like this?

My tits are big anyway, so if I just go to a room or an office and spread my legs a few times, I can make money in no time.

Why am I doing this?

If I take that money and live the way I want, and do drugs and get laid, wouldn’t that be a happy life?

That’s life and s*x.

Stinging.

What woke me up from the chain of meaningless and negative emotions was the pain in my stomach.

Did I eat something bad yesterday?

I thought, and then something suddenly stabbed me in the stomach.

“Ugh!”

The pain suddenly hit me so hard that my knees gave out.

Did a ghost stab me in the stomach?

As I was holding my stomach in a feeling I had never experienced before, a full swing suddenly came into my waist.

In an instant, my eyes turned white.

Nothing came out of my mouth except for occasional moans, and I couldn’t even scream, so I cowered and endured the pain, praying that it would pass.

Feeling even a thousandth of a second as infinite, I drifted through a sea of pain.

My hands turned white from exerting too much force, and I couldn’t open them properly.

There were blood stains on my palms that I opened little by little.

It seemed that my nails had dug into my palms because I had clenched my hands so hard.

What on earth is going on?

Was there something wrong with the diet lunch late yesterday?

Did I get food poisoning because of that?

I only left it outside for about 30 minutes.

It wasn’t even summer, so it shouldn’t have gone bad…

Soggy.

Without any plan, something flowed out of my vagina.

The pain was so severe that I couldn’t even control my bladder anymore.

I’m an adult who pees all the time, and how far will I fall…

I took off my panties, but they were stained red.

“Huh?”

Blood clumped in my panties.

Ugh.

Something was leaking out of my vagina again.

I couldn’t control it and there was no sign of it.

I took off my panties and held them straight in front of me and looked down at my body again.

Blood on the floor.

Is this… my period?

My stomach started to hurt again.

What the…

I have to wipe the floor first.

Fortunately, it felt like someone was poking me with an awl, but it wasn’t as bad as the first time.

I endured the pain and quickly wiped the blood with a tissue and wiped it again with a wet tissue.

They say people become negative when they start their period, and that was exactly it.

I should have thought that I would experience this when I gained weight after being a TS pretty girl in the first place.

But it was unrealistic to have TS in the first place, so isn’t it strange to think that it’s realistic in this situation?

More than that, I can’t walk around bleeding like this.

There’s no way I have sanitary pads at home.

I have to go to the convenience store to buy some.

But how am I going to buy sanitary pads in this condition?

I quickly searched for ‘when there’s no sanitary pad’ on my phone, and found an article about how to make a temporary sanitary pad.

Stack toilet paper 1-2cm thick and add it to your panties, or add socks.

This and that.

Now is not the time to be concerned about human dignity or anything, I just layer some socks, wrap them with toilet paper, and wrap them around my panties.

I put on whatever I could find and quickly left the house.

Intermittent pain continues to torment me, but if I don’t go now, I’ll have to live at home without wearing panties and continue bleeding profusely.

I pass the park and head to the convenience store.

It’s usually a 5-minute walk, but these days, it’s a path that makes me raise my head and look at the scenery, and think, “It’s nice to have a park.”

But I don’t know why it’s so far today.

I can’t run or walk, and in a vague state of alertness, I push open the convenience store door and go in.

A little late, hello~.

Normally, I’d accept it, but now, I don’t have time to accept it.

I passed a couple of stands and turned the comer, and there were sanitary pads on display.

But.. which one should I buy?

No, you have to have bought it before… What is an Ultra Wing, and what is a wing.

I just choose the most expensive one.

Then the problem is the payment.

There is a male part-timer at the checkout counter.

It’s a little embarrassing.

I’m blankly staring at the sanitary pad and then something else comes out.

Ah, shit, I don’t know. What the hell is going on right now, I don’t even know if it’s embarrassing or not, and now is not the time for that.

I walk straight to the checkout counter and put it on my chin.

The part-timer flinches slightly, then pays and returns the card.

About 10 seconds after I left the store, I realize that I didn’t receive a bag.

The sanitary pad is right there. Should I be embarrassed? I don’t know.

Let’s just go home quickly..

[A mahjong broadcast by a virtual YouTuber who comes once in a thousand years]

Isn’t it time to kick a sad virtual YouTuber now?

A broadcast that’s neither virtual nor YouTube CC “Everyone, my mood and condition are really not good today. So please don’t touch me. I hope you’ll be a bit more careful with your fingers today.”

Even if I would normally just say “¬¬” and accept the chat, it seems like it’ll be hard to just let it go today.

I should try hard, but if I send a warning message, won’t these guys be careful?

Where are you sick?

Take care of yourself.

There won’t be any broadcasts for you to watch when you die .

Ccl heard that epidemic is going around again these days..

If you quarantine for 7 days, will you be able to broadcast for 168 hours straight?

“It’s not corona. It’s not a fatal illness. It’s just that? If you say you’re not feeling well, you should just understand that you’re not feeling well. What are you blabbering on and on about… 168 hours of continuous broadcasting? Do you want to get hit 168 times?”

SM play with Pardan Nunna, who has a nice body (according to her claim) CCC [Message has been deleted]

The reason for not feeling well.. ahem-

[Message has been deleted]

Rested due to not feeling well

<- You get out

[Message has been deleted]

You really are not feeling well today.

What happened?

Are these guys clueless or are they doing this on purpose?

Of course, since 99% of my broadcasts are filled with galumphs and malicious people, I do sometimes intentionally tease them when they’re upset.

If someone is angry or upset, are you okay?

What’s wrong? A normal person would do that, but these guys are like, “I’m angry, don’t do that. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. I’m angry.”

They get beat up by the people around them. No, just in the heart and then looking at it, it might be a cradle and squatting in the corner of the classroom.

Suddenly PTSD. Come and catch the discipline–“I want to come to me with a lot of thoroughly. I don’t want to be me.”

Orphanage is an orphanage.

Most of the guys who watch Inbang are trash, right?

I’m trash because I didn’t go out today and all I do is play on the computer.

Sorry mom, sorry mom, sorry mom, sorry mom, sorry mom, sorry mom, sorry mom, sorry mom, sorry mom

I’m not really sorry; If you gave birth to me, you have to handle it.

“Everyone, please take care of yourselves.. Each and every one of you are precious people. Don’t be so self-deprecating. You need to comfort yourself, right? I endured the tough world today, I lived well today, I can endure tomorrow too. You need to comfort yourself like this to survive in this world.”

Oh..

“Self-consolation”

Self-consolation is an important matter, right?

===

Do you comfort yourself too, Pardan?

Hmm…

[Message deleted]

The kid said he wasn’t in a good mood today, but he’s whining right away ¬¬¬

It’s hard to be the first today.

Tell me the standard.

“Ha.. Didn’t I tell you not to be the first? You’re saying I’m not in a good mood today? Do I really have to say with my own mouth what state I’m in right now? Huh? You still don’t know what oppa did wrong? Huh? Why don’t you know? You don’t even know why I’m mad?”

Why are you like this today all of a sudden?

Are you finally going crazy?

Oppa don’t know what I ate wrong, but thank you.

PTSD is coming ugh what the hell

You have PTSD all the time?

You deceiver shakey–

“Oppa’ that Pardan Nunaga is talking about Hehe this tastes amazing.

Why are you like this today, you b*tch? Are you on your period?

“Yeah, I’m on my period! Why! That’s why I told you not to touch it. I didn’t have any sanitary pads at home so I went to the convenience store to buy some, so don’t make me mad”

I got so angry that I told the truth.

Well, it’s not embarrassing to have your period, so it’s okay to just say it, right?

While I was getting angry, I took out an e-cigarette and lit it.

If you smoke during your period, your body will get worse?

There’s no way, right?

Maybe it was because I was thinking that, but I suddenly had an urge to vomit and choke.

What are you doing now?

Are you doing that?

[Message deleted]

I said I was on my period and I really am¬¬

Thing.

Sanitary pads..

That’s it

[Message deleted]

These guys are already great at tightrope walking, but they’re going to have a blast tightrope walking today

“I’m going to push all the tightrope walkers off the rope today, so know that.”

Even though I’ve already pushed a few people away.

Even though I say this, I don’t want to permanently block them.

Even though they’re always being mean, picking on everything I say and being annoying, they’re still my viewers and they watch my broadcasts no matter what I say, so there’s no one else who’ll care about them except me.

But when I see them gritting their teeth and doing things they’re told not to, I can’t help but think they’re just frogs.

I wish they wouldn’t act like this in other rooms. But they’re annoying in chat, so when they play mahjong, they go crazy and fire 8-shotgun rounds or something?

Seriously lol

If one urame appears, won’t you go crazy and break your monitor?

“Uh.. Now that I think about it, that’s true. Then should we just review today? But since I just review every day, to be honest, it’s not fun for me anymore. You guys are looking at your own mistakes and thinking, “Wow, it’s fun, it’s fun,” but I keep pointing out and pointing out the same mistakes that come up in dozens or hundreds of chapters. So now I’ve run out of things to say.”

It’s fun to see people improving now, but it’s also hard because there aren’t many cases where kids who’ve received a review once send it to me two or three times, and when I give detailed explanations, kids with independent problems show up again, so it’s hard to have any continuity.

Aren’t we playing mahjong today?

I’m going to play

How about trying a different game besides mahjong?

Pardan, take a look at my personal information “What are you talking about, taking a look at my personal information? Other games? I don’t play any other games. To be honest, you guys don’t really want to see that game, right? Actually, I don’t play that game either. I used to do a little bit, but now even when I do, it’s only as good as hell. Hmm.. I have nothing else to do, should I play Samma?”

Since I don’t play mahjong, I play Samma lol.

Are you in your right mind? Samma isn’t mahjong after all~

I’m sick of mahjong, so I play mahjong to relieve my stress.

If you don’t play f*cking mahjong, what do you do?

Do you have a hobby? A hobby? Nothing really.

Mahjong is my hobby, my pastime, and s*x.

A game of mahjong when I wake up, a game of mahjong after working out, a game of mahjong while eating, a game of mahjong after eating, a game of mahjong while having a cup of coffee, a game of mahjong when I get home, a game of mahjong while broadcasting, a game of mahjong after letting myself off the hook.

You really are someone who lives your life to play mahjong.

If you played that much, you should have reached 9th Dan. Did you get to 9th Dan?

Aren’t you working?

Oh, this is work-

You go out?

You’re a ‘deceiver

“… ”

I haven’t gotten to 9th Dan yet.

These days, I’m just getting married and leaving the frame alone for now.

I’m going to turn on the show and get promoted to 9th dan. Work?

I used to do part-time jobs. I mainly worked in logistics, and when my health got worse, I worked part-time for a few months.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with my job.

It’s personal information, so I can’t say anything in detail, but just know that there are circumstances.

Well, there will be a day when I can reveal it, but I guess I can only reveal it if the show goes well..

“They say it will never be revealed = You always say you’re confident in your face, so I wonder when you’ll reveal it = If you were confident, you would’ve broken it or not, lol = There’s a whole different level of audience depending on whether you reveal your face and don’t, but if you were crazy about money, you should’ve broken it a long time ago.”

People are really distrustful.

There’s no way I can show this… Okay!

Let’s just say that your face is ugly and can’t be revealed!

If you guys feel better about that, then that’s fine.

What’s with the inferiority complex-I have no inferiority complex because I’m confident in my appearance.

The more my face isn’t revealed, the more you guys will suffer, right?”

Really crazy logic aaaa There’s no one who’s as good at mental victory as this b*tch

I’m crying and tearing my butt off in all directions at the teacher’s logic

What is this room? Are you a new YouTuber?

I’m neither a newbie nor a YouTuber for people I watch every day, people do come in sometimes. about 20-30 people, but now there are 40-50, so the number The problem is that 90 percent of those people who come in leave.

I’ve seen other YouTuber broadcasts while I’m broadcasting, but overall, the atmosphere in my room feels a bit different.

My room is mostly filled with people who play mahjong and they never speak nicely, but in other broadcasts, there seems to be an atmosphere where they support the streamer and make them feel comfortable?

Anyway, after chatting a few times, I get ostracized by the villains in my room and then I leave because I feel like it’s not the atmosphere I want, or I become one with the villains and just sit around chatting and praising them….

Why the hell should we support you?

Hey, old man, stop talking nonsense and just do your thing. I’ve been pushed back a lot. You have to have something pretty to compliment someone, why would you compliment a girl who always talks about money? ¬¬

Pardan-nim’s virtual tits are being licked

[Message has been deleted]

You all talk so harshly,;
Even though it seems like a broadcast only When I first started a month ago, there were of people coming in is gradually increasing.

“Those who always stick around saying they’ll look after you are not helping with our financial situation, but just keep getting in the way and sitting there… Don’t they do this in other rooms? Huh? Teacher, the kids in our room are always like this. Kids who would chat like ”

what the heck ¬¬¬¬

“in other rooms are no different from Mozart on the keyboard when they come here..”

We only watch your broadcast?

When I went to another room and typed in the chat like he did on his broadcast, I heard a rat-like noise and got blocked right away.

It’s a habit for you to say “420” in other places, and you immediately got your throat slit

===

There are a lot of kids who don’t mind if you swear at others, but it’s rare for kids who don’t mind if you swear at them.