Secrets and Understanding

(Sun Yao)

“…Crossdressing.”

After showering, it felt strange to wear that frilly battle dress again, so I returned my outfit to the Star Crystal and left the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. I wanted to borrow a loose T-shirt from Ye Zi—at least something comfortable to sleep in. But when I opened his wardrobe, the first thing I saw was a pure black ruffled skirt with a gold buckle.

This skirt looked suspiciously similar to Miluno’s battle outfit.

I stepped back and took in the whole corner of the wardrobe. There were four or five stylish outfits—ones I thought were quite tasteful—and they were all women’s clothes. Panties and socks were neatly folded in storage boxes, faintly scented. Looking at this section alone, it was exactly like a girl’s wardrobe.

Ahaha, could Ye Zi actually be a girl?

No, that was obviously impossible. If these clothes were his, then… crap, I seemed to have stumbled upon some massive secret.

“Don’t open that!”

Just as I was wondering how to react, my good brother Ye Zi wailed as he charged in. Rare panic was written all over his face, and I felt like I’d done something wrong again. Unlike me, a chubby otaku who only caused trouble, he not only had the handsome looks of a “normie” but also a very dependable personality. If it weren’t for him spending all his time keeping me company, he could definitely find a great girlfriend…

Wait, could these clothes belong to a secret girlfriend?

“Th-that… Ye-Ye Zi, do you already have a g-girlfriend without telling me?” I stammered, like a goldfish blowing bubbles.

“………………Yeah.”

But judging by his delayed reaction, he didn’t seem to have one. Come to think of it, we’d grown up together as close as brothers. He spent the whole summer vacation with me—how could I not know if he had a girlfriend?

I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. “Ye Zi, when did this… interest of yours start?”

He turned his head away, as if unable to look me in the eye. “Wh-what interest do you mean?”

“Crossdressing! Since you don’t have a girlfriend, these clothes can only be yours, right? Or… are you actually a magical girl too, and you keep a few women’s outfits for your secret activities?”

Of course, the latter half was just a joking guess.

“That’s right, these women’s clothes are indeed mine…” To my surprise, he actually admitted it.

“…You wear women’s clothes?”

He explained with a dark, embarrassed face, “But they’re not recent purchases. These are from middle school. I didn’t wear them willingly; my mom made me wear them… If you don’t mind wearing clothes I’ve already worn, you can try them on. Of course, the underwear is off-limits.”

It was quite amusing to see the usually cool Ye Zi pursing his lips shyly.

“Huh? Auntie has a hobby of making her son crossdress?”

“……After all, she’s my mom.” He gave a dry, weary smile.

Thinking about it, it actually seemed normal for that woman to have such a quirk. She used to constantly say that if one of us were born a girl, we’d make a perfect couple—saying there was no need to “waste public resources” and we should just handle it internally between the families.

…Wait, I’m a girl now.

Sure, I’m a magical girl, but if I dispel the battle outfit, I’m no different from an ordinary girl. Rumor has it that magical girls can even get pregnant and give birth, so marriage is also…

Wait again! What am I thinking about! How did I end up thinking about marrying Ye Zi!

Once Miss Yang Yan is discharged and the public opinion storm dies down, I’m going to change back! Sun Yao! Get a grip!

I slapped my burning cheeks and asked, “Was it cute?”

“What do you mean?” It seemed I’d asked out of nowhere.

“I mean, when you crossdressed, were you cute?”

“How do you expect me to answer that?”

“Didn’t you leave any photos? I want to see!” I really wanted to see Ye Zi in women’s clothes. His face was quite delicate; it probably wouldn’t look too weird…

“First, you should put on some clothes.” He picked a water-blue slip dress from the wardrobe and held it in front of me. “And forget about the photos. A-Yao, everyone has a few dark memories they don’t want to recall… Now that you’re in my shoes, you should understand, right?”

As he said this, the “shadow lines” on his face grew heavy and weathered. It seemed he really had a miserable past he didn’t want to talk about.

“You want me to wear this dress?”

“Any one will do. At least you should be covered, right? Running out wrapped only in a towel… you might not care about yourself, but at least think about how I feel.”

Because of my current appearance, he seemed genuinely embarrassed to look at me. And fresh out of the bath, this body was just so… well, good-looking. Plus, after “exploring” in the bathroom, my face must still be flushed with a suggestive red, right?

Would this be misunderstood? But if it’s Ye Zi, he probably wouldn’t care… or maybe he would? I really wasn’t suited to hold a Star Crystal; I was too frivolous. This wasn’t the ideal magical girl I envisioned.

My overheated mind was filled with chaotic logic. I took the dress. “Ye Zi, are you… curious about a girl’s body?”

“……What are you trying to say?”

“Well, since I’ve become a magical girl for once, and I’ll probably change back later anyway… don’t you want to take this chance to understand a girl’s body?” Just saying it made my ears burn.

“……A-Yao, we can’t do that.”

“N-no, that’s not what I meant! It’s just… my body is amazing, you know! Not that… I mean… I just explored the feeling of a girl’s body in the bathroom… Does that sound too lewd?”

Despite my incoherence, Ye Zi just pressed his palm to his forehead. He pondered for a while, probably understanding the source of my confusion, and tried to summarize.

“A-Yao, you think magical girls are heroes who save the world—saintly existences like idols. They can’t have any stains; they must be cautious in everything. You don’t want to ruin the image of magical girls in your own heart.”

Ye Zi was right. The magical girl in my ideal was a perfect, almost divine existence. That’s why I admired Miluno so much: pure and strong.

“But I know you’re A-Yao, my brother. If you want to maintain that image for others, go ahead. But in front of me, you can drop all those burdens. Whether it’s anxiety, complaints, pervy thoughts, or exploration of your own body… No matter what troubles you face, you can tell me. No matter what emotions you have, you can talk to me. After all, I’m probably the only one who can let you take off that mask now, right?”

He saw right through me. That made me even more embarrassed. I hugged the dress to cover my chest, not knowing what to say. But then, I felt a light pat on my head.

Huh? What was this feeling?

“I understand everything. I’ll accept all of you, so you don’t need to feel uneasy.”

My heart couldn’t calm down. Even after I became a magical girl, Ye Zi’s attitude toward me hadn’t changed. I felt a little—just a little—like crying.

“Ye Zi, thank you.”

“Silly, what are you thanking me for? Since you still see me as a brother, don’t be so formal. Go change first; I still have to clean the room.” With a warm smile, he left and closed the door.

As soon as the door shut, the feelings I couldn’t show in front of him burst forth. I buried my face in the dress and flopped onto the bed. The bed was soft and smelled a bit like Ye Zi. I’d never noticed it before, but from a girl’s perspective, he was practically the perfect boyfriend!

“Calm down. Change clothes first.”

There were other dresses in the wardrobe, but for sleeping, this simple slip dress was more suitable. Just as I untied the towel, there was a knock at the door.

“Wh-what’s up?” I squeaked. He’d closed the door when he left, but hadn’t locked it. I was completely naked and terrified he’d barge in.

But he just spoke through the wood. “A-Yao, tonight you sleep in my room. I’ll go sleep in the master bedroom.”

I sighed in relief. “What’s wrong with the guest room?”

“After cleaning it, I found the air conditioner is broken. You’d suffocate sleeping there all night.”

Mid-July was the hottest time of the year. Spending a night in a room without AC would be torture.

“But hasn’t the master bedroom been uncleaned for a long time, too?”

The apartment had three bedrooms, but the guest room and the master bedroom were usually kept closed. Ye Zi’s parents were like my old man—people you didn’t see even once a year. We were basically left to fend for ourselves. If the guest room hadn’t been maintained, the master bedroom was probably covered in an inch of dust.

“Cleaning it up is quick. If not, I can sleep on the sofa.”

“Don’t be like that. Let’s just sleep together in your room.”

“……Is that okay?” His voice behind the door was hesitant.

I slipped into the dress, but going “commando” felt too unsettling, so I summoned part of the battle outfit—the underwear part. After properly dressing, I opened the door.

“If it’s really a problem, you can just take the floor. It’s not like you don’t even want to share a room with your brother, right?”