Chapter 7: Self-Satisfaction

“……You lied to me.”

On the way back to the academy after a satisfying lunch, Ellis threw this at me.

“Me? You?”

“Of course! You said something like something important happened!”

“You should tell me right away, Ellis Akstra. I’ve never told you that.”

You found out on your own.

You found out with your useless, quick information.

She wasn’t wrong.

I had never told Ellis about what had happened with Aria in the first place.

Ellis, as if she already knew the truth, just declared it to me while shaking with anger.

“I’ll get revenge. Lian Trice.”

“……What on earth are you basing your revenge on me for? Shouldn’t you take your revenge on the informants who gave you exaggerated information?”

“Anyway! I’ll definitely get revenge on you someday, so just know that.”

“Oh, yes.”

To be honest, I couldn’t believe it.

To promise endless revenge on someone who already had a terminal diagnosis.

It was a situation where I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

Will I die first?

Or will Ellis’s endless revenge reach me first?

I will be revenged by Ellis Akstra.

This sentence was definitely not one to take lightly when thinking about Ellis in the original.

Since I was already given a terminal diagnosis, I would just laugh it off.

If you think about the dark side of Ellis Akstra in the original, this wasn’t a situation to laugh about.

I think there was something like that.

One of Ellis’s first-year juniors who kept pestering her because she was pretty disappeared without a trace.

In the original, it was just an incident that heightened the mysteriousness and fear of the character Ellis Akstra, but if you think about it from my perspective, it was quite scary.

I just told my feelings to my senior that I liked.

One day, without a word, no one noticed, and her existence was erased.

As I was thinking about this, Ellis, who had returned to her usual expressionless face, opened her mouth.

“Ugh. That’s enough. What are you going to do about that?”

“……What is that? You have to tell me what it is before I can answer or not.”

“Your betrothed family. The Brilliant Duke family has started collecting information about your past as a scoundrel, right?”

Ellis continued to press me, as if asking how many times she had to tell me before I would understand.

“There’s a limit to what I can do to stop it. It’s getting harder to stop it now, so don’t you have any plans on resolving it?”

“I think I said this yesterday too? There’s no need to stop it.”

“Well, then are you really thinking of breaking off the engagement with that woman?”

“If Elena wants it, then I’ll do it.”

As I said last time, I had no intention of stopping Elena and me from breaking off our engagement.

It was an undeniable fact.

The scoundrel, Lian Trice, and Elena Brilliant were not a good match.

It was an absolutely undeniable fact, and one that would never change.

“By the way, why do you keep getting interested in that?”

“Huh?”

“I said yesterday that it didn’t matter. But why are you personally stopping it?”

And, what I was really curious about was something else entirely.

Ellis Akstra, who never moved unless it was for her own benefit.

Why on earth would she try to stop my breaking off the engagement?

“……That’s it.”

Ellis flinched as if she had been hit with the nail on the head when she heard what I said.

Seeing her, I thought that maybe what I had only been guessing in my head was actually true.

“You, by any chance.”

“…”

“You don’t by any chance have feelings for me?”

It was a reasonable inference.

From my perspective, there was really nothing Ellis could gain from stopping my engagement other than this.

However, it didn’t take long for my thoughts to be proven wrong.

“What nonsense is that. “Lian Trice.”

“……I’m really sorry. I’m scared, so please don’t act serious.”

Because Ellis, who had been making a minimal businesslike expression until just now, hardened her expression terrifyingly as soon as she heard my words.

Look at that cold expression.

It’s enough to kill a person.

Even if I had been given a terminal diagnosis and had no regrets about living, I didn’t mean that I wanted to die like this.

Fortunately, Ellis quickly relaxed her expression after hearing my sincere apology.

“Don’t talk nonsense. I’m already in a bad mood.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Ugh, I wasn’t going to say this. If you make a useless mistake, I have no choice but to say it.”

“…”

“Isn’t it obvious? If you and that woman break off your engagement, who will be her next marriage proposal?”

“Prince Michael?”

I knew this well because it was in the original work.

After Elena broke off her engagement with Lian, the royal family personally arranged the marriage between the prince and Elena.

‘…… At that time, Elena and the protagonist had already started to get closer, so it didn’t mean anything.’

If the original protagonist hadn’t existed, Elena would have married Prince Michael and lived a very different life.

That’s what I was guessing.

Of course, Ellis, who had no idea about this fact, was looking at me with a pitiful look.

“But you’re not completely stupid. Even though it was late, you somehow managed to guess the answer.”

“If that woman really marries the Prince, there is no family in the empire that can compete with the Brilliant Duke family.”

So I was a restraint to stop the growth of the Brilliant Duke family?

“For the growth of the family?”

“Yes, that’s what it felt like. That’s why I tried my best to prevent you and that woman from breaking off the engagement.”

It made sense.

The sole successor to the Akstra Marquis family, the emperor of the underworld.

To Ellis, who was already full of ambition, Elena and the Brilliant Duke family would be a thorn in her side.

‘Should I tell you this?’

Of course, I already knew the original.

I knew that the future Ellis was worried about would never come.

I didn’t want to tell her the original story, and even if I did, I doubted whether Ellis would believe it.

“Well, that’s too bad.”

I chose to just keep my mouth shut.

She’ll do fine.

It wasn’t for nothing that she had been involved in the family business since she was young.

It wasn’t that she was offended by the fact that I was treated as a mere restraint.

Ellis, who had no idea what I was thinking, made a sullen expression as if she was offended.

“That’s why, a rascal like you should have stayed by that woman’s side.”

“That’s kind of offending.”

“Do you have anything to say?”

“No.”

No, that’s not it.

It’s true that I’ve been using Ellis up until now in the original story.

I felt a little sorry, but I did feel a little sorry.

“Trash.”

“…”

“A trashy person who really isn’t of any help to my life.”

Hmm.

Now that I think about it, I don’t feel that sorry.

Of course, I didn’t say it out loud.

“Ah, what’s your fault? It’s all because I’m lacking, and I let someone like you find out about my identity.”

“That’s true to some extent……”

“Fine. I’ll stop talking about this because it’s just making me feel bad.”

Ellis cut me off, saying she was offended, and immediately brought up a different topic.

“What are you going to do for the second semester midterms? Are you going to just maintain an average score like last time?”

“…… Is it that much time already?”

“Yes. There’s about two weeks left.”

The second semester midterms at Sacred Academy.

The first major event that takes place in the original work, and the first time the main character of the original work gets to make an impression on the main characters.

If the main character had been building up his or her skills until the first semester, the second semester was the time when he or she would start to prove his or her abilities.

“……Do I have to just maintain an average score this time too?”

For reference, I had only maintained an average score on the last first semester midterms.

I could have gotten a higher score if I had done it correctly, but I got a few questions wrong on purpose because I was afraid people would suspect me of cheating.

“You weren’t suspected of cheating last time?”

“That’s right. That’s why I’m worried.”

The fact that people suspected me of cheating even though I got a few questions wrong on purpose was the problem.

It was a part where I could really feel once again how the original Lian Trice was treated by others.

“Can’t you just solve it to the best of your ability? Even if you’re suspected, you just have to prove it and that’s it.”

Ellis frowned, as if she didn’t understand such worries.

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

As Ellis said, if you’re suspected, you just have to prove it again.

If I were in the past, I would have accepted Ellis’s words.

I would have studied all night, preparing for the future, and aimed for the highest possible grades.

‘……But now, I don’t need to get average or good grades.’

However, the current me was not the past me.

The me of now was like a snowman whose future was set to be spring.

A being that would melt.

A being that would soon melt and leave no trace in the world.

No matter how hard I worked to collect cold snowflakes, I was like a snowman that would melt before the great being called the sun.

Is it really necessary for me, a being like this, to study hard and get good grades on the test?

“……What’s important about grades? Doing well on that one test isn’t going to change your future.”

“Well, that’s not wrong. It’s the same for me, and for most people, it’s just self-satisfaction.”

Yes, self-satisfaction.

For me now, studying to get good grades on the test was really just an act of self-satisfaction.

It was a word that was so far away from me, who had decided to live comfortably for the little time I had left.

The word self-satisfaction was that kind of word to me.