Just Kiss Me… I’ll Be Okay

“Ah-huhk!”

A dull, wet sound echoed as our lower bodies slammed tightly together, and Haejin threw his head back, mouth falling open.

It had already been difficult when just the head entered, but with his member plunging all the way in as if reaching below my navel in one go, it felt—no exaggeration—like my body was being split in two.

Stars burst before my eyes, and I wanted to grab onto something, anything like a lifeline.

Fumbling, my hands wandered before clinging to Beomwoo right in front of me, koala-like.

I clung with all my might, but the sensation of being pierced in half wouldn’t subside, so I dug my nails into his shoulder.

An action I could never normally do, for fear of marring his body, but I was too panicked by the sensation below to have room for such concerns.

My insides were so full it was even hard to breathe.

As Haejin gasped for air, letting out moans closer to pain than pleasure, Beomwoo, who had started this, seemed worried, smoothing Haejin’s disheveled hair and checking his condition up close.

“Hah, does it, hurt a lot?”

“Huuuh…….”

At Beomwoo’s question, Haejin looked at him with eyes pooling with tears.

Honestly, it hurt like I was going to die.

When just the head had entered, I’d already said it was too much, and a petulant thought rose in my throat—if you suddenly ram it all in, of course it’s going to hurt!

But the Beomwoo before me was looking down at me with such worried eyes that the petulant words wouldn’t come out.

If I kept saying it hurt, it seemed he wouldn’t just wait but might stop the act altogether.

I didn’t want that.

In reality, if he were the type to stop just because I was struggling after coming this far, he probably wouldn’t have had the idea to push all the way in from the start, but I didn’t have enough judgment left to think that far.

Haejin struggled to hold back the tears threatening to spill and shook his head with difficulty.

“Huh, ah, i-it’s… o-okay……. Huah, ah…….”

“Then, I’ll move.”

Beomwoo, as if taking my words literally, insensitive as ever, subtly pulled his hips back.

He probably knew I wasn’t really okay, and his concern for me seemed genuine, but it seemed he had asked just to hear my permission, however non-permissive it was.

When he said he would move, I thought he’d be as rough as when he mercilessly forced his way in, but thankfully, he seemed to retain some consideration and didn’t do that.

Beomwoo carefully moved, slowly pulling his hips back and then pushing in again.

It had already gone in as much as it could, but if he moved violently, the burning sensation would be immense.

It felt like my inner walls, clinging like a suction cup to his cock, would be dragged out with it, so it was a relief he didn’t do that.

Still, it was only a level better than him ramming in, not that things had actually improved.

Even so, the oppressive pressure filling my body showed no sign of subsiding, and my body remained tense.

When he was kissing, sucking, and caressing my body, my backside had become embarrassingly wet even without wanting it, but now, conversely, it felt insufficient and dry, as if all that wetness wasn’t enough.

In reality, it was soaked with love juice and the cum Beomwoo had smeared, but that wasn’t enough to handle the formidable size that was the problem.

“Uhhk, uhhuhk…….”

As Haejin groaned with pained moans each time he moved, Beomwoo looked down at him and clenched his teeth.

As if deciding this wouldn’t do, Beomwoo changed positions, embracing Haejin, who was clinging to him, and had him sit on his lap.

As my supine body was lifted to straddle him, gravity and weight caused his member to stab the deepest part.

At the feeling of being poked somewhere deep, Haejin’s body trembled.

Just as I thought he was being even more relentless instead of waiting for my body to fully relax, a familiar scent wafted past my nose.

It was Beomwoo’s pheromones.

“Breath, breathe it in deeply.”

“Huuuh, hah…….”

Our pheromones had been scattered in the air since we got excited, but when Beomwoo deliberately released his, the room instantly filled with his scent.

Following his words, I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with his pheromones.

My body, which had been tensed to the extreme, relaxed, and my mind grew hazy from the scent of the person I liked, the pheromones I loved.

It felt like being intoxicated by something, similar to when Jeong-yeon had drugged my drink and my mind grew fuzzy, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling like back then.

As my mind stabilized, the tension that had stiffened my body gradually eased.

My body, reacting to the pheromones, gushed with love juice, and the act that had been closer to a struggle began to change.

“Is it a bit better now?”

“…….”

Beomwoo seemed to sense the change in our connected bodies and asked while checking Haejin’s condition.

It had improved since he released his pheromones, but that didn’t mean everything was fine.

Though his pheromones were magical, they only eased tension and increased arousal; the oppressive pressure filling my body remained.

And that small measure of composure would likely be lost the moment Beomwoo started moving properly.

But Haejin, who hadn’t even been able to voice a petulant ‘it hurts’ for fear he might stop, cautiously opened his mouth after pulling Beomwoo’s neck closer and leaning back to meet his gaze.

“A kiss……. If, if you kiss me…… I, I think it’ll be okay…….”

“…….”

Even when it felt like my body was being split in two, I had wanted to be connected to him.

Now that my body’s condition had improved slightly more than then, words like ‘it hurts’ or ‘it’s hard’ didn’t come out…….

I just wanted Beomwoo to kiss me.

I had come this far wondering how good it would feel to be together now that our relationship had developed into one where he loves me too, not just me liking him alone.

But honestly, what Haejin liked was something else.

It was kissing.

Even in my past life, when Beomwoo didn’t like me, I loved kissing because it felt like he truly loved me, if only in those moments.

Perhaps it was to the extent that my heart completely crumbled when Beomwoo kissed me without asking permission in Busan.

I liked it that much, but this was the first time I had asked him to do it for me.

By nature, I wasn’t proactive enough to ask first, and I was afraid of being rejected if I did.

With thoughts of ‘how dare I,’ I couldn’t bring myself to ask for a kiss.

But the situation is different now…… so wouldn’t it be okay to ask for this much?

Back then, even though we were married, only I liked him; now, even if we’re in a lesser ‘couple’ relationship, we’re in a mutual liking…….

As Haejin pleaded for a kiss in a crawling voice, Beomwoo, who had been checking his condition, opened his eyes wide.

It was the reaction of someone who had heard something unexpected.

……I had mustered a lot of courage to say it, but with this reaction, a belated wave of embarrassment crashed over me.

Did I say something unnecessary?

Even as a couple, is this burdensome?

Having never really been in a proper relationship, I had no confidence about whether this was acceptable.

Thinking that, blood rushed to my face.

Beomwoo looked at me with surprised eyes, then softened his expression and lightly kissed my lips.

Peck.

Like a bird alighting, his lips lightly touched mine and then quickly pulled away.

At the kiss, so brief it was child’s play, Haejin was about to look at Beomwoo with disappointed eyes, but the moment their eyes met, Beomwoo kissed me again.

Not a child’s play kiss like before, but a real kiss.

“Huuup…….”

Yes, like this……. This was the kiss I wanted, where the feeling of liking someone seemed to overflow beyond just being read.

He lunged as if to swallow even my breath, moving his tongue as if to pull out its root—a kiss that was a bit painful and intense, but I loved it so much.

Every time he acted impatient and eager, different from our past life, I felt like I was confirming his feelings.

And when I distinctly felt it was different from back then, I thought, ‘This person really loves me,’ which made me happy, but also, on the other hand, it made me sad and my heart ached.

Each time I saw his sincerity, I felt I understood more clearly just how parched and empty our marriage in the past life had been.

I knew, but the indelible memories tormented me.

But still…… it’s different now from back then.

The Beomwoo before me is a different person from the past life, and I decided to trust the person before me as he is.

It’s different from the past life, so I don’t want to hurt anymore.

I want to forget, overwriting it with happy memories as if I had a very bad nightmare.

Though it was an intense, deep kiss that was hard to keep up with, Haejin opened his mouth and tried his best to receive it.

I wanted to receive everything he gave without missing a single thing.

By the time saliva—whose it was, I didn’t know—streamed down my chin, Beomwoo belatedly pulled his lips away.

Since it had literally been a kiss like being devoured, when our lips parted, Haejin’s dark pupils were clouded with pleasure.

As Haejin finally gulped down the breath he couldn’t catch up with, Beomwoo looked down at him with a strange glint in his eyes and muttered in a self-deprecating voice.

“……I should have done this for you like this from the start.”

“…….”

Back in the bathroom, when performing oral s*x, he had said jokingly, ‘Had I known you’d like it this much, I should have sucked you off.’

This was a different look from then.

That had also been nonsense, but it was clearly a playful, pleasant kind of dirty talk; now, he genuinely seemed to regret something.

Was it regret about the method of the few kisses we’d shared?

But as I thought, it hadn’t even been a few hours since we entered this kind of relationship, and in this life, we hadn’t even shared enough kisses to count on one hand.

Moreover, for Haejin, every single kiss with him had been wonderful, so I couldn’t understand why he was speaking as if he regretted something.