Lingering Attachments

“…So that’s how I ended up back here. You know, right? Awakeners are born again even if they die.”

‘I know. What you guys call ‘respwoon’.’

“‘Respawn’.”

‘That or that! Don’t talk back, nya!’

As I nodded, half giving up, the Skollcat narrowed its eyes and pushed its face close to mine.
It looked as if it had realized the glasses it wore every day were made of the rarest jewels in the world.

‘When I first saw you, you certainly looked like a defector, but you reeked of the scent of those outcasts, and the Grim Reapers were trying their hardest to ignore you…. I thought it was very strange, a peculiar fellow, but I was right, nya!’

I struggled to interpret the Skollcat’s lament-like words, then my eyes widened.
Those outcasts.

“Do I happen to, um, …smell like a Varg?”

‘Very! Terribly! Much! Like my nose is going to fall off! You’ve smeared it all over your body like you were hunting a rat, don’t you know?!’

…I don’t.
I looked dubiously at the Skollcat, who shuddered as if it had been waiting to say that, then sniffed my forearm and went to the mirror to check my neck.

Naturally, nothing was visible.
The Varg’s Imprint Vein doesn’t leave a mark like my ‘Stigma Theory’ skill, so there’s no way to confirm it with the naked eye.

‘Hey. Human. Let me ask you one more thing. Did the Grim Reapers avoid the male you imprinted on? Like, avoiding him stealthily.’

They avoided and shunned him. They even seemed afraid of him.
Thanks to that, I was no longer chased by the Observers.

‘Nonsense!’

As I quietly nodded my head, the Skollcat’s eyes narrowed to slits.

‘Don’t lie, nya! There’s no way the power of the God Slayer is still left, nya, he should have been exiled and disappeared….’

Even when I asked what that meant, it kept babbling incomprehensible words.

‘That lazy butterfly! What on earth is it doing, don’t tell me it’s going easy on him because they’re both defectors?’

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

‘You don’t need to know, nya. Don’t interfere, nya.’

What is this? Keeping things to itself.
Feeling left out, I pouted, then paused.

‘Crazy OP ice attribute, mist skill, good with a sword, and can even go berserk? OP, totally OP. Really.’
‘What do you mean.’
‘Huh? Nothing. Just talking to myself.’

…I used to do that sometimes too.
Did Karvan feel like this?
Unwittingly thinking of that man again, I shook my head in annoyance.

“Uh, then is there no way to return to my original world?”

The Skollcat looked at me as if it had heard the most bizarre question. Its long ears perked up.

‘Weren’t you staying on purpose, nya?’

“Of course not! Of course I want to return! Is there a way?”

Wondering if it really knew a way, I gulped and stared at its mouth, where a fang was slightly protruding.

‘Go and ask the Grim Reapers, nya. They’ll guide you.’

“…I’m not in the mood for jokes.”

‘Why would this great me joke with you?! Anyway! If you really intend to return to your dimension, don’t get close to that male, nya. He seems very suspicious and dangerous, nya.’

I knew that from our first meeting.
The chief who commands a race deleted from the data long ago, and a monster possessing abnormally powerful, broken skills.

‘He abandoned you, considering your value as a mate to be over.’

He never hid the fact that he would abandon me someday from the beginning, and didn’t I always expect it?
And yet, I was a fool to be completely won over just because he treated me well for a short while.

I let out another sigh as I looked at the bluish ice cubes in the crystal glass.
It had gotten late before I knew it.

‘Aren’t you going out to look at the moon today? It’s a full moon.’

“No. I’m going. For the last time.”

The Skollcat, who had been looking out the window with me, looked up at me in surprise.

‘…The last time?’

I shrugged silently and stuck a sponge on its tail.

Should I say ‘of all days’ or ‘just in time’?
It was exactly the day of the full moon.

‘I did it for you.’

It was a large, blue moon, just like the one on the day of the full moon ceremony I watched with him, but it didn’t fill me with overwhelming emotion like it did then.
Rather, it felt chillingly cold.

‘I will definitely find you.’

Liar.
I forcefully kicked a pebble at my feet.

‘Play the part of a mate.’

In truth, he was that kind of man from the start. A man who intended to use me from the very beginning.

So come to think of it, maybe it’s better that I was abandoned now.

If I had given him my heart completely, if I had been betrayed right when I was certain I wanted to stay by his side without even thinking about returning to ‘reality’, it would have felt like the sky was falling.
Fortunately, it wasn’t like that yet.

‘You have to be careful when giving affection to a stray cat.’

I had a friend who took in and cared for an injured stray cat.
When I asked if it wasn’t hard to raise them all and suggested returning the healthy ones to the wild, my friend said,

‘A cat that has been touched by human hands can no longer live on the streets.’
‘Why? Because it forgets how to hunt for itself?’
‘No. Because it can’t forget the affection, it approaches humans without caution and gets caught and killed by bad people.’

A stray cat that has been tamed by human hands cannot adapt back to the streets.
A stray cat can become a house cat, but a house cat cannot become a stray cat.
That means being culled, which is death.

‘What brings you out to meet me.’

That’s why, even though I didn’t hate Karvan’s affection, I tried to be indifferent.
I grumbled, thinking he would eventually stop, that it was just a whim.

‘Did you come out because you wanted to see me early?’
‘Not at all. I just came out for some fresh air because it was stuffy inside.’
‘I wanted to see you. Bi.’
“…….”
‘I only thought of you. All day long.’

I intentionally tried not to show my true feelings, fearing that if he whimsically turned away again, if even the Vargs ostracized me, I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
At the time, I wondered if I was being too cold-hearted, but now I felt I had done the right thing.

He took my freakin’ awesome SL weapon, what does he care about a mate or whatever. He probably doesn’t even remember me.

Yeah, eat well and live well with that. Whatever happens to this world, I just need to go back. My place is not here.
I tried to think bravely, but I didn’t know why I felt so empty and bitter inside.

It must be the feeling of getting dumped by an NPC you worked hard to build affinity with. I tried to tell myself it was because I had been permanently robbed of my one and only endgame SL weapon, but a lump kept rising in my throat.

‘I will find you. Wherever you are.’

I’m a fool for believing those words. A wolf is a devoted beast? What a joke. That damn canine bastard.

“…Hmph!”

In a fit of anger, I took off one of the cherry blossom earrings and threw it into the lake in front of Midvalen.

I didn’t notice it when I was wearing it because of the lightweight skill, but it must have been heavier than I thought, as it quickly sank below the surface with a plop! and disappeared.

Not stopping there, I huffed and raised my arm to take off the other one and throw it too, but I paused.

‘Why aren’t you throwing it?’

As I stood there trembling with my arm raised, the Skollcat, who had been watching the ripples on the lake, lifted only its eyes to glance at me.

‘Shall I throw it for you?’

“…Ah, no. It’s okay.”

‘Are you doing that because it’s a waste? I’ll bring you better accessories from my shrine later. Give it here. I’ll eat it.’

“No!”

I desperately guarded the remaining earring with a clenched fist, then quickly put it back on my ear. The Skollcat looked me up and down pathetically.

‘You softie…. Just forget him, nya! After three months and ten days, it’s more than enough time for him to have sown his seed with another female and be living happily ever after, nya! What’s the point of waiting every day for a guy who isn’t even coming?’

“…I know. I’m not going to wait anymore.”

‘You finally understand, human!’

The Skollcat finally nodded with a satisfied face, then wrapped its tail around my arm like it was linking arms with me.

‘Good thinking. Come, come, it’s cold. Let’s go in quickly, nya.’

I turned my back without lingering attachment to the moon, which shone even brighter yellow today.
I felt like a large gaze was persistently following my back, but I never once looked back.

‘Wake up quickly, nya! Give me cherry tomatoes, nya!’

I started my day being tormented by the Skollcat, who was jumping around and trampling next to my pillow since morning.

“Why do you keep coming into my room? Skollcat’s room is much nicer!”

‘Don’t you know the master and servant’s rooms should be connected? If I call, you come immediately! Scratch my chin, quickly!’

I pet the purring chin next to my head, stroked its forehead so hard its eyes popped out, and was scratching between its chin and ears when I heard a knock, knock. It was Loktis, the Knight Commander of the Empire.

“You should slowly prepare to escort the Cat God. You mustn’t be late like last time.”

“There’s a meeting today. Skollcat.”

‘It’s a bother, nya. Can’t you go instead?’

“If you don’t go, Skollcat, I can’t go either.”

Recently, I had gained a qualification I had never once held since moving into Midvalen. I was given a seat at the Empire’s weekly meeting.

‘There are leaves left, nya!’
“Oops, sorry.”

Of course, as the Skollcat’s guardian.

I was busy sticking cherries one by one onto the tail that was purring while lying on the microfiber blanket spread over my lap.
They were specially cultivated seedless cherries grown by Druids for the Skollcat.

“His Imperial Majesty enters.”

When I had picked about nineteen bright red cherry stems, Baalzeph entered the meeting room.

Everyone stood up, spread their membrane-like wings, and gave the Empire-style greeting, but I was the only one who remained seated without moving an inch.

‘How dare you make my personal chair move without permission?! You insolent vampire! Did you order this?!’

On the first day, I tried to greet him by placing the Skollcat, which had been purring on my lap, on the table, and Baalzeph’s eyes almost became Tanghulu. Since then, I skipped the greetings.

“Please be seated.”

The Empire’s meeting room was incredibly gloomy.

Over a long, angular table. They sat facing each other in perfect posture, only sipping from their wine glasses. In the dimly lit room, as if the lights were out, the only things visible were the jewel-like reflections in the wine glasses.

They looked elegant like medieval nobles, but to me, knowing that what was in the glasses was monster blood, it just looked bizarre.

【Fresh Blood of an Unknown Monster (A)】

‘Is that tasty?’ I glanced at the red glass placed in front of me as a courtesy.

‘When I bit Karvan’s neck that one time, it tasted weirdly metallic and fishy and not even good….’ Ugh, again, again! Why do I keep thinking about it. I decided to forget him.

‘What are you doing? Don’t do anything weird and just comb my fur, nya.’

As I rubbed my forehead, I was scolded by the Skollcat, so I obediently summoned a fine-toothed comb and began to comb him.

“By the way, did you all hear? The knight orders rescued a dying Varg yesterday.”

“We thought they were extinct, where are they crawling out from now.”

Comb, comb, the Empire’s meeting continued even as I combed the Skollcat, who had his eyes closed.

“Seeing the sudden surge of beast-kin refugees, we presume those who lost in territory disputes are spilling into the mundane world. It must be one of them.”

“Tsk tsk, at a time when they should be uniting their wills, the low-intelligence races are still the same. Then how should we dispose of it?”

‘Human, aren’t you going to do it properly?’ When my combing slowed down, the Skollcat tapped my forearm with his tail in annoyance.

“Isn’t it too unsettling to just leave it be?”

“It’s been so long that everyone might have forgotten, but they were banished from setting foot on this sacred land hundreds of years ago.”

If I had been using the ‘Berserk’ skill, my animal ears would have perked up right about then.

“That’s right. Is there a need to grant entry to a Varg now of all times?”

“To keep them from stepping on this land according to tradition is….”

“W-wait a minute!”

Everyone’s attention simultaneously focused on me as I suddenly interjected.