The Priest’s Predicament

“Pfft, pfft.”

Having completed her task, Ye Xi immediately sought out the Bearded Uncle by the church. She found him avidly devouring a bowl of noodles, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the purplish-black, knife-pinned leg on the ground was his own.

“Oh, Miss. You’re back quite quickly.”

The Bearded Uncle greeted Ye Xi with an enthusiasm that suggested a deep, long-standing friendship between them.

“I’ve finished what you asked of me. It’s time for you to fulfill your promise.”

“Alright.” The Bearded Uncle declared cheerfully and proudly, “I am the priest you’re looking for.”

Ye Xi’s expression remained blank.

Silence descended upon the scene. Ye Xi stared at the grinning priest before her, then, after a long moment, she finally spoke, “Just wait to die.”

With that, Ye Xi turned to leave.

“Hey, hey, hey, wait! My poison hasn’t been cured yet! Didn’t you come to me for something?!”

The Bearded Uncle clung directly to Ye Xi’s leg, refusing to let go.

“Disgusting, trash, garbage! Go to hell! I’ll take the long way around to find Reiz; you can just turn into natural fertilizer for the Ailan flowers!”

“Wait, give me a break, big sister! Reiz isn’t any better! Honestly, I think he’s even more of a waste than I am!”

“Two peas in a pod, you rotten worms! Besides, there’s also Sister Celine.”

“That violent, physically-inclined nun knows nothing about getting things done. No, give me a chance, give me a chance to prove myself!”

The Bearded Uncle’s wails pierced the sky, echoing for a long time.

****

Ultimately, under the Bearded Uncle’s relentless badgering, Ye Xi weighed the issues of time and urgency, deciding to spare his life until after the matter was resolved.

At present, Ye Xi had inserted a tube into the Bearded Uncle’s wound, using air pressure to expel the poisoned blood.

“That beautiful maidservant, Miss…” the Bearded Uncle asked weakly.

“What is it, wild boar?”

“I believe I introduced myself. My name is Kuang Ruo.”

“Got it, bristly ball.”

‘It’s better not to dwell on these titles. They’re just nicknames,’ Kuang Ruo, or rather, the Bearded Uncle, consoled himself. ‘As long as I know that ‘wild boar’ and ‘bristly ball’ refer to me, it’s fine.’

Kuang Ruo decided to return to the main point. “How long do you plan to keep draining my blood? The poisoned blood must be gone by now, right? This blood is redder than hawthorn berries. Aren’t you going to stop it?”

Ye Xi glanced at him, feigning surprise. “Your blood is actually red? The same color as human blood? How strange. Perhaps we should drain a little more; I feel this isn’t normal. I heard the blood of mud monsters is blue; yours should be the same color as theirs.”

Mud monsters are creatures that inhabit swampy regions. Their true forms are small, adorable furballs with pure white fur. However, they are extremely slovenly, fond of crawling and rolling in swamps, which means most of the time people see them as disgusting balls of mud.

These creatures also enjoy splattering other beings with swamp mud, a behavior with little practical significance; analysis suggests they simply find it amusing. Their blood is, indeed, blue.

“I am human,” Kuang Ruo retorted. “Don’t arbitrarily change my species. Of course, none of that is the most important thing. Stop the bleeding quickly; I’m about to turn into a mummy from blood loss!”

“Hmph! Endure it.”

Ye Xi pulled the tube directly from the wound.

“Hiss~” Kuang Ruo’s forehead immediately beaded with sweat from the pain.

The true horror was yet to come. Ye Xi opened a bottle of hemostatic powder and poured it directly onto the wound, without any pain relief.

The sensation was akin to having chili water mixed with high-purity alcohol poured onto an unhealed injury.

“…”

This time, the Bearded Uncle didn’t cry out. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but the pain had rendered him voiceless.

‘This maidservant is definitely a demon in an angel’s guise!’

Kuang Ruo gasped for air, recovering after several deep breaths. He spoke, on the verge of tears, “You’re far too ruthless, aren’t you?!”

Ye Xi raised an eyebrow, twirling her dagger. “Usually, after I do this, I no longer have murderous intent for the human scum who angered me. Of course, if that trash wishes for an early demise and rebirth, I wouldn’t mind giving them the chance for euthanasia. What do you think, garbage uncle?”

Kuang Ruo immediately understood, lowering his head. “Please, let the storm rage even more fiercely, Miss Maidservant.”

“Uncle Kuang Ruo, we bought the Forget-Me-Not flowers!”

At that moment, several children excitedly ran over. Behind them, a robust young man pushed a cart laden with Forget-Me-Not flowers.

One of the little girls, with twin pigtails, curiously looked at Ye Xi, then fearfully hid to the side.

“It’s alright, it’s alright. Big sister isn’t a bad person.”

Kuang Ruo gestured for the little girl not to be scared, adding, “Big sister even taught those bad guys a lesson and sent them to a place where they’ll never return. Big sister paid for all the Forget-Me-Not flowers too.”

The little girl’s eyes lit up. Mustering her courage, she approached Ye Xi and said, “Thank you, big sister.”

“Mm.” Ye Xi nodded indifferently, never quite knowing how to deal with children.

The young man pushing the cart also walked over, mesmerized by Ye Xi’s unparalleled beauty.

“What are you spacing out for, you brat? Hurry up and give these herbs to your mother, so she can make porridge in our square and distribute it to everyone.”

Kuang Ruo shooed the young man away, then smiled at Ye Xi. “Young people these days always like to fantasize about things they’ll never get.”

“I wholeheartedly agree with that,” Ye Xi replied.

Kuang Ruo continued, “They’re always easily deceived by superficial appearances. Someone beautiful isn’t necessarily a gentle, virtuous wife; they could also be a short-tempered tigress.”

“I commend your courage.”

With that, Ye Xi poured the remaining half-bottle of hemostatic powder onto Kuang Ruo’s wound.

“Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh!”

This time, Kuang Ruo didn’t lose his voice, but he let out an even more embarrassing pig-like squeal.

****

It proved true that even the most impoverished holy church always had an underground sanctuary built beneath it.

A massive circular stone pillar pierced into the earth. Ye Xi was currently descending a spiral stone staircase, built around the pillar, towards the underground sanctuary.

She pulled a worn blanket with her right hand, on which sat the temporarily crippled Kuang Ruo—courtesy of Ye Xi—and a sack containing the old butler.

“Seriously, can’t you just use your qi to float us?” Kuang Ruo protested. “My butt keeps bumping on every step; it’s going to turn into a baboon’s red backside soon. And I’m not even sure the person in this sack will survive the trip down.”

“You have a point.”

Then, Ye Xi placed the sack on top of Kuang Ruo, clapped her hands, and declared, “There, that’s better.”

Ye Xi then continued pulling the blanket downwards.

“…”

Kuang Ruo looked at the sack in his arms, speechless. “What about me? His problem is solved, but what about mine?!”

“You? Will you die if your butt turns into a baboon’s?”

“Not really.”

“Then it’s fine.”

“I protest!”

“If you protest, climb yourself. Why so much trouble? Besides, you’re not without qi yourself. If you want comfort, be self-reliant; don’t try to mooch off me.”

Kuang Ruo froze. ‘That’s right,’ he thought. ‘I can use qi. All these years, I’ve been so exasperated that I forgot I was a Holy Hall master!’

Ye Xi stopped before the stone door of the Holy Hall. “This is far enough. I’m leaving; you can handle the rest yourself.”

“Aren’t you coming in?” Kuang Ruo asked, puzzled.

“No, I’ve wasted enough time. And such troublesome matters, once is enough.”

With that, Ye Xi departed directly.

Kuang Ruo watched Ye Xi leave, then shook his head helplessly. He followed the procedure to open the stone door and released the old butler.

The old butler had never witnessed such a sight. He had always believed the Grand Holy Hall was a useless religious organization. Who would have thought they had secretly constructed something like this beneath the baron’s territory?

Kuang Ruo lit an Ailan flower, looking at the old butler. “The Holy Hall’s protection is not easily obtained. I hope you’ll be honest; it will save you some suffering.”

The old butler nodded clearly.

After the interrogation, the old butler collapsed in the room.

Kuang Ruo shrugged. “I told you to be honest. Another naive fool who thinks the Holy Hall is a charity.”

A calm voice emanated from the Ailan flower. “We have been informed of the matter. The Heresy Arbitration Team will be dispatched immediately to dismantle the cult’s stronghold.”

“That’s good then. If there’s nothing else, I’ll go up now. I still have a lot of work to do.”

The voice from the Ailan flower grew stern. “Kuang Ruo, you went too far this time.”

Kuang Ruo naturally understood what the Council was referring to. He had reported everything over the years without concealment, much of which violated the church’s rules, especially this incident.

“This act of yours is no different from hiring someone for murder, and the deceased was a local merchant of considerable influence.”

Kuang Ruo’s tone also hardened. “Then what am I supposed to do? This is my hometown. Am I supposed to just watch it turn into a ghost town inhabited by living dead?!”

Silence fell on the other end for a moment, then the voice spoke. “We understand your feelings. However, since you have joined the Holy Hall, please consider the Holy Hall’s stance. From the beginning, you understood the Holy Hall’s reason for existence and the rules to be observed. You, Reiz, and Dan Li are known outside as the Holy Hall’s ‘Three Madmen,’ having done many things inconsistent with the identity of a priest. But the Holy Hall does not need you to uphold these false reputations; were it not for convenience, these empty titles would only be a burden to the Holy Hall. But rules are rules; they exist for a reason, and as long as they haven’t been eliminated by the times, they should be followed. Among the three of you, Reiz appears the most frivolous, but in reality, he is the most rule-abiding. You and Dan Li are easily driven by emotion.”

Kuang Ruo remained silent, then, after a while, he spoke. “I accept the punishment.”

“Few people know about this incident. You still retained some rationality by not acting directly, and there were extenuating circumstances, so we will help you suppress the matter. However, the Holy Hall will no longer allow you to serve as a priest. From now on, you will be assigned to the Heresy Inquisition and join this operation. We will send a new priest soon.”

Kuang Ruo let out a bitter laugh. “There, then. It’s quite a torment to be with a bunch of lunatics. Understood.”

The secret chamber of the sanctuary fell silent after the verdict was pronounced. Kuang Ruo, with a heavy heart, prepared to return to the surface. Then he realized a problem: Ye Xi had helped him down so easily, but how was he supposed to get back up this time?

He had some strength, but his leg was crippled, and he was carrying another person!

That maidservant had even plotted against him before leaving, paralyzing his thoughts so he hadn’t considered this issue!

What a trap!