Chapter 8: I’ll Find You Even If You Go Far Away

“…Sigh.”

I think I understand a bit of what it feels like to crave a cigarette, even though I’ve never smoked one before. I always wanted to throw them away when I saw my brother smoking, but I desperately want to puff on something.

Damn it. I don’t know why things got so twisted. Was it my fault for thinking that a single chat message would solve everything?

Right. Takahashi Sayo. Sayo…

Of course, I remember. Although I didn’t recognize the name Shiori Haru at first, after seeing the character design and thinking about it, I remembered the unique client.

“So Shiori Haru was Sayo-san…”

But I didn’t know she’d become a Vtuber with that character. When I gave her the design, I thought she’d just… make merchandise or something.

“Shiori Haru…”

Click.

I clicked on Shiori Haru’s wiki, and her information was listed below a picture of her smiling brightly.

Shiori Haru. Around 600,000 subscribers. A gachikoi-permitted Vtuber. She recently had her anniversary live. Her nickname in Korea is Head Breaker… Is she that popular?

Creak.

I slumped back in my chair. The old chair creaked painfully as it bent. My seventh expression, a bitter smile, appeared.

“She became such a big success…”

I’m happy for you, Sayo-san. You, who were so timid and scarred, have succeeded. I feel like I’ve succeeded too.

Yeah. It’s nostalgic. Is that the right word? It feels unfamiliar, it’s been a while since I used it. It’s rare in my life to see someone after a long time.

I glanced at my phone. Old messages. The only thing that changed was our positions. From an ordinary adult and a high school student, to a Vtuber with 600,000 subscribers and a professional illustrator who is also a beautiful girl.

One person changed a lot… extremely so.

Anyway, the first thing Sayo sent after her inquiry was a ridiculously long character setting. She insisted it wasn’t about her, but it was suspiciously detailed…

[Takahashi Sayo: It’s my original character. Her name is Shiori Haru. I’ll attach a picture of her appearance. And her family history is…]

An orphan who lost her parents. An unfortunate child abused in an orphanage. A lucky girl saved by the CEO of an idol company. Now, an idol for everyone, singing hope in front of many people.

“I was quite surprised when I received it, right?”

I had a lot to say about the unnecessarily detailed family history for a design. Things like, ‘Are you perhaps in the same boat as me? Are you also a victim of domestic violence? Or was it an accident?’

But what if she wasn’t?

Someone in a business relationship suddenly talking about their unfortunate family history. I would have terminated the contract immediately. It’s something that could be offensive even if it were true.

It’s a choice a sensible professional wouldn’t make, but

Back then, I… didn’t think much of it.

[WhitePalette: The character Shiori Haru seems similar to me. I think I’ll be able to work on it better.]

[Takahashi Sayo: What do you mean?]

I think she replied almost immediately. Perhaps Sayo was waiting for it too?

[WhitePalette: I don’t have parents either.]

[Takahashi Sayo: Really? Me neither.]

When my dad died. When my mom died. Thinking about it now, it was thoughtless and a sensitive topic. A long story about her family history, to the point where I wondered why she even brought it up.

Still, the two orphans, a rarity in modern society, seemed to have quickly formed a bond. I don’t remember clearly, but looking at the chat logs, they were having a good time.

[Takahashi Sayo: Um, would 3D modeling be impossible?]

In the middle of laughing and talking about their misfortunes, Sayo asked for something impossible from my past self. 3D modeling wasn’t within the realm of possibility for a high school student who drew as a hobby.

[WhitePalette: I’ll just give you the design. Commission someone who can make a great 3D model.]

[Takahashi Sayo: What? How can you do that? This design alone is worth tens of thousands of yen… No, isn’t selling the copyright more expensive?]

After that, Sayo refused my offer. It’s a bit annoying to look at now. Just take it. I’m offering it. I had to scroll down quite a bit to see the end of that back-and-forth.

[WhitePalette: 100 yen. I’ll just take 100 yen then.]

[Takahashi Sayo: Really…! Okay. I give up.]

And then came the requests and instructions. The deadline, samples, and the final product. The personal stories disappeared.

[Takahashi Sayo: I’ll definitely repay you.]

That was the last message. Sigh. That was just a few minutes ago.

[Takahashi Sayo: It’s Haru, who got banned~ Yep, that’s right – I’m that idiot who went to watch a newbie independent Vtuber’s stream and got betrayed by her Mama~]

She became much more… childish. Sayo-san, who was admirable for carrying her scars, had adopted a provocative, lowbrow… broadcasting tone, perhaps an unavoidable occupational hazard.

Damn it. All YouTube viewers must have some kind of illness.

[WhitePalette: So, I told you I would have recognized you if you had just given me a heads-up. You’re making me feel bad…]

[Takahashi Sayo: I’m the oldest daughter, you know. Isn’t it too much to only remember the youngest!?]

I’m not sure if she’s the youngest. Does she just want to believe she is…?

I’m sorry, Sayo, but I’m currently a hot topic in Vtuber communities in Japan, Korea, and even the US. Since Yui’s debut was exceptionally successful, it was natural for attention to turn to me, her Mama.

But my fake account, ‘Niensha,’ only has a barebones SNS page with no information, so people focused on the White Palette account, which at least has some information.

Hello. We are looking for a complete redesign of the Korean rookie Vtuber group Sugar Hearts…

I’m Ayaka, an independent Japanese Vtuber! I’m looking to change Mamas…

Did you really abandon Shiori Haru?

Dozens of messages like these. Various requests and offers, but mostly virtual avatar commissions. I don’t have a lot of money in my account, so I’ll eventually take them…

But if I mention it now, I don’t know how Sayo-san will react, so I’ll hold off. I’ll just do it and apologize later. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

So…

[Even though Shiori Haru acts all high and mighty, she gets timid when hit with facts LOL] [31]

Hmm. I see. According to the information from my friends in the Korean Vtuber community, I need to attack now.

[WhitePalette: Yes. I apologize for that. But what Sayo-san did on Yui’s stream was wrong.]

The chat slowed down drastically. Her replies, which usually appeared incredibly fast, took a noticeably long time.

[Takahashi Sayo: That’s true, but…]

Alright. Everyone in the community, thank you!

[WhitePalette: The first paragraph of Yui’s wiki is about the controversy. You know better than I do how important a Vtuber’s debut stream is.]

Sayo’s rapid typing stopped. It seems she knows she did something wrong.

[Takahashi Sayo: I do feel sorry. I did it while I was drunk.]

[WhitePalette: It’s already done, and it’s not my business, so I have nothing to say. Whether you do a collab with Yui or send her an apology message, I hope you two resolve it yourselves.]

[Takahashi Sayo: I will, but… aren’t you going to do anything, Mama? I don’t think it will end with just an apology.]

…What?

Leaving aside the fact that she naturally called me Mama, what is she talking about? What am I supposed to do?

[Takahashi Sayo: It’s true that I’m getting the most hate in this situation. You know that the rookie, Yui, is also being criticized for being disrespectful to her senior. But you, Mama, are also starting to get hate comments.]

[WhitePalette: …Why?]

[Takahashi Sayo: People get triggered for all sorts of weird reasons. You referred to yourself as ‘ore’ (俺), right? Because of that, people are saying you’re actually a creepy hikikomori otaku.]

Ugh.

The shut-in hikikomori otaku part is correct. But I’m a beautiful girl, so I’m not creepy. If you add the keywords ‘social anxiety’ and ‘trauma,’ you’d have a perfect Kang Soohyun.

[WhitePalette: I can’t go in front of people. I get scared when I go outside, and they say all sorts of things. If they recognize me…]

[Takahashi Sayo: Eh. Who would recognize you? The answer is already out there, isn’t it?]

My fingers froze at Sayo’s message. What does she mean by that? What can I do?

I have social anxiety, trauma, and I’m annoying to befriend. Start a broadcast and tell everyone my true feelings? What if I go outside and someone recognizes me…

[Takahashi Sayo: You become a virtual idol too, Mama!]

Ah.

Ah?

No.

[WhitePalette: Is that even possible?]