It’s Written All Over Your Face

I held back a laugh.

Han Gangun winked one eye and tilted his neck as though stretching.

The teacher told him to read the entire passage on page fifty-six.

“Yes, sir.”

Han Gangun answered neatly and began reading.

I unfolded the note.

“French culture flourished around the year 1500, during a period of war with Italy in the south and Flanders in the north. War brought new ideas and—”

[How do you know?]

It was the note I’d sent him.

Beneath it was Han Gangun’s reply.

[It’s written all over your face.]

His voice continued steadily.

It was neither too deep nor too light.

The sentences flowed smoothly from his lips without interruption.

I stared at the words on the note.

For some reason, the back of my neck felt warm.

Written all over my face?

I rubbed the back of my neck, then touched my forehead.

It felt as though I’d been caught.

That wasn’t what I’d meant at all, and yet somehow I felt exposed.

Embarrassed.

This time, Han Gangun’s long arm reached between our desks.

The teacher had moved toward the back of the first row while reading from the textbook.

Han Gangun and I exchanged a glance.

I quickly accepted the note.

Unfolding the fresh piece of paper, I read:

[Eat lunch with me.]

The moment class ended, the classroom erupted into noise.

Han Gangun pressed a hand onto my shoulder.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

“See you in a bit.”

The fourth period was another elective class.

Han Gangun and I weren’t in the same one.

Yet he acted as though I’d already agreed to eat lunch with him.

Three or four boys were waiting by the front door calling his name.

The moment Han Gangun strode over with his long legs, casual curses flew around.

“f*ck off.”

“You wanna die?”

They sounded completely natural.

They were people who belonged in a world far removed from mine.

People from a different universe.

People who would never overlap with mine.

The nervous excitement I’d felt throughout class slowly deflated.

Like air escaping from a balloon.

I stood up and slipped the returned notes into my pocket.

As I was about to put away the last one, I unfolded it again.

[How do you know?]

[It’s written all over your face.]

Contrary to appearances, Han Gangun had nice handwriting.

It wasn’t calligraphy or anything, but compared to mine, which desperately needed practice, his writing looked far more mature and organized.

That realization only made me more embarrassed.

The two lines looked absurdly different from each other.

I gently rubbed the words he’d written.

Black ink smeared onto my thumb.

Before fourth period began, I went looking for Juho.

I told him I probably wouldn’t be eating lunch with him today.

I expected him to ask why.

Instead, he asked,

“Really?”

Until that moment, I’d been wondering whether I was doing the right thing.

The instant I heard that response, every doubt vanished.

When I told him I was eating with Han Gangun, Juho looked genuinely surprised.

“You’re actually friends with Han Gangun?”

“Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know.”

“It just happened.”

“We suddenly got close.”

Without a second thought, I left Juho’s classroom.

I felt lighter.

As though I’d finally put down a burden I’d been carrying on my back.

I doubted I’d ever eat lunch with Juho again.

The moment lunch period started, Han Gangun came looking for me.

Kim Yunho and Kang Hyunsu from the neighboring class were with him.

I awkwardly inserted myself into the group.

Trying not to stand out, I joined the conversation naturally.

At least, I tried to.

Whether I looked natural to them was another question entirely.

“What’s for lunch today?”

“Today?”

“Hey, Kang Hyunsu.”

“Do you know what’s on the menu?”

“I heard it’s fish cutlets.”

“Ugh.”

“I f*cking hate fish cutlets.”

Kim Yunho immediately made a disgusted face.

Neither Kim Yunho nor Kang Hyunsu seemed bothered by my presence.

They didn’t go out of their way to talk to me.

But they didn’t look at me strangely either.

They simply acted as though I wasn’t there.

Honestly, that might have been the most comfortable outcome.

As long as I could communicate with Han Gangun, that was enough.

After getting our food, I turned around and immediately locked eyes with Juho.

He was sitting at the end of a table near a pillar, spoon in hand.

Watching me.

He looked perfectly relaxed, eating with his other friends.

I wondered how he’d managed to endure eating with me when he’d clearly wanted to sit with them all along.

“Seo Ijae.”

Someone tapped me on the back.

I looked up.

Han Gangun grinned.

“What are you doing?”

“Were you waiting for me?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I was joking.”

“And you took it seriously.”

Holding his tray in one hand, Han Gangun draped his free arm around my back.

His hand landed on my opposite shoulder.

Then he guided me toward a table.

Kim Yunho and Kang Hyunsu were already sitting by the window.

Both of them were staring at a phone screen and snickering.

Han Gangun sat down as though he’d done it a thousand times before and jerked his chin toward the seat across from him.

I awkwardly sat down.

I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to swallow my food.

Fortunately, my worries proved unnecessary.

Everyone was too busy eating.

A few short conversations happened here and there, but none lasted long.

Nobody seemed particularly interested in anyone else.

Kim Yunho laughed at something on his phone.

Sometimes he handed it to Kang Hyunsu.

Then both of them would laugh together.

Whenever he tried showing it to Han Gangun, Han Gangun simply shook his head and refused.

“Is it good?”

I was counting grains of rice with my spoon when Han Gangun suddenly asked.

He took a bite of rice as he spoke.

Startled, I nodded and copied him.

I scooped up some rice and chewed.

Dry.

Tasteless.

I couldn’t help wondering why he’d wanted to eat lunch with me.

I thought we’d gotten somewhat closer.

But that was only from my perspective.

Objectively speaking, becoming part of Han Gangun’s circle was something that would never happen in my world.

Han Gangun and I were not the sort of people who became friends.

I was quiet.

Reserved.

Friendless.

My grades were average.

I wasn’t interesting.

I came to school alone.

Went home alone.

And ate lunch silently with Juho.

I wasn’t even ordinary.

I might have fallen somewhere below that.

Han Gangun was completely different.

He was outgoing.

Popular.

Smart.

Good at everything.

Teachers liked him.

Students respected him.

He was handsome.

Tall.

The kind of person who carried an undeniable presence.

The students in our class admired Han Gangun and his friends whether they admitted it or not.

Juho and I were no exception.

Chatting occasionally during elective classes was one thing.

Passing notes back and forth was one thing.

But sitting openly with his group and eating lunch felt less like good fortune and more like trouble.

I constantly felt people glancing our way.

There were too many stares for it to be paranoia.

The girls weren’t even subtle.

They openly whispered while looking in our direction.

After thinking about it throughout lunch, I decided to ask him.

If I forced another bite down, I felt like everything would come back up.

So I put my spoon down early and waited until everyone else finished eating.

I didn’t even have a phone to distract myself with.

The students using phones right now were the ones who submitted spare devices during homeroom checks.

“Gangun.”

I called out timidly while following after him with my tray.

The movement of his hand disappearing into his pocket stopped.

Kim Yunho and Kang Hyunsu wandered off down the hallway, pretending to kick each other as they went.

Han Gangun lowered his gaze to me.

“Why’d you call me?”

“……”

“If you called me, say something.”

He didn’t sound annoyed.

If anything, he looked curious.

His eyes carefully examined mine.

Every time Han Gangun looked at me, he really looked.

Studying me piece by piece.

As though he found me interesting.

“Jesus.”

“Look at those double eyelids.”

“…Hey.”

“Talk.”

“Why did you ask me to eat lunch with you?”

“Huh?”

“I already told you.”

The face that had been studying mine tilted upward again.

He ruffled his bangs aggressively as if his head itched.

Then he answered.

“Just because.”

“…Hey, that’s not a reason.”

“If you don’t want to, don’t.”

“……”

“The choice is yours.”

“It’s not like I’m forcing you.”

It felt like I’d been slapped.

I’d automatically assumed I had to eat lunch with him because he’d asked.

That had been the only answer in my head.

The possibility of saying no had never even occurred to me.

“If you don’t want to eat with me, you don’t have to.”

“…No.”

“Or go eat with Juno or Juho or whatever his name is.”

As he said it, Han Gangun stared out through the open doorway.

Warm noon sunlight poured into the building.

The lively noise of countless students drifted inside.

As though answering my question had already bored him, Han Gangun pulled out his phone and tapped at the screen.

Then he added casually,

“But I’m better than that guy, aren’t I?”