The Viral Debut: Perfect Faces, Imperfect Performance

At eight in the evening, the first stage performances of “Super Star” trainees all went online.

Data is a crucial part that every idol and fan cares deeply about. So, as soon as the first stages were uploaded, clicking on any performance link would show that many people were watching simultaneously. Some even used multiple devices to stream, repeatedly refreshing the view count.

But amidst the chaotic battle of fans, one first stage video stood out as exceptionally different.

[I came after hearing about it. Is this the legendary ‘epic anti-depression medicine’?]

[That’s right, this is the one.]

[If you watch this and still don’t laugh, you’ve got issues in this life.]

Among all the first stages, this one was directly pushed to the top of the popularity chart. Every time you refreshed, the number would jump up again, leaving the second and third places in the dust by nearly ten times the difference.

Clicking on the video, you saw:

“Warrior”

—”The last crack before the night fades,

The city’s pulse hides an unspeakable pain.”

A fierce dance track fused with heavy metal rock, with a strong rhythm and catchy melody. It was one of the hottest singles familiar to those who follow K-pop groups.

And on top of that, the performers were two incredibly handsome guys. Their singing and dancing should have made for an explosive stage.

Theoretically, that’s how it should have been.

But…

[I give up! What the hell are you two doing with those handsome faces!!!]

[Those who can’t laugh, I suggest you come watch this.]

[Hahahahaha, it cracks me up—how can someone break into a cracked voice on the very first line!]

[Tears of laughter. The official broadcast is even more ruthless: they cut that cracked voice three times in a row, each time switching to the mentors’ and other trainees’ reactions. Everyone’s expression was like ‘WTF, you look like that but sing like that?’ Eighteen camera angles, repeatedly bringing shame.]

[Seriously, those two faces are way too deceptive. I fell for Jiao Wangshu at first sight—he looks so ethereal, with such a beautiful voice. I thought I’d finally found the great vocalist I’d been dreaming of. But the moment he opened his mouth, I was dumbfounded. He was even worse than that Ling Tinglan beside him—out of ten lines, he’d sing eight off-key and completely miss the other two…]

[Thought it would be ‘drop to your knees’ but it turned out to be ‘drop to your knees’ in a different way, right?]

[The most profound moment of the Chinese language.]

[Who would have thought? I doubted my ears, doubted the production equipment, but never doubted them…]

[The production’s multi-million dollar sound system be like: ‘Heaven, judge the loyal and the treacherous!’]

[Why only complain about the off-key singing? Do you think their dancing was any good? (Dog head)]

[In summary: look at their faces, they’re a perfect match; look at their talent, they’re also a perfect match. Who says our little couple isn’t a match made in heaven!]

[Ha, so ‘a match made in heaven’ means this? (Tears of laughter)]

[Huh? They already have CP fans after just the first stage?]

[Your CP might be colleagues who just met three days ago. These two are inseparable true childhood friends who’ve been together over twenty years. If you don’t ship real couples and instead go for artificial sugar, what’s your deal?]

[Double god-tier visuals and double childhood friends… When have I ever eaten such a delicious meal!]

The comments were a riot. Meanwhile, in the video, Ling Tinglan narrowed his eyes slightly as an explosive boom shattered the stage. With that solo sound, he turned around.

His solid waist and abdominal muscles tensed instantly, his core engaged. Driven by a sudden burst of explosive power, his long legs spun, and he executed a beautiful side flip. His posture was straight, his moves graceful—every muscle line on his arms showing their best form at that moment.

Unfortunately, such a cool and handsome move was fleeting. The next second, as the beat kicked in, he simultaneously extended his left hand, stepped forward with his left leg, and confidently began to dance.

[Warning! High energy ahead!!!]

[Here it comes!]

[At this point, I let out a massive laugh! How can someone march with his same arm and leg on the same side!]

[Judging by his face, he’s definitely a main dancer. Who doesn’t melt when the stage light hits that drop of sweat on his jawline? That cold, handsome guy is so cool it makes my legs weak. Then I looked closely—he’s marching with his same arm and leg on the same side.]

[I beg for Ling Tinglan’s confidence tutorial (hands together).]

[The more serious he looks, the funnier it gets. He throws punches with such ferocity—even through the screen, I’m afraid he’ll land two punches on me (waving white flag).]

[Isn’t it even funnier that Jiao Wangshu beside him kept sneaking glances at Ling Tinglan, clearly forgetting his moves?]

[The kid is too honest. He’s never copied homework before—doesn’t even know to hide it. His mouth moving to count the beat is so obvious.]

[Don’t blame the kid. I mean, the worst student copying from the second-to-worst—how could that turn out well?]

As they spoke, the on-screen Jiao Wangshu stepped into the chorus and made the next dance move. His stiff limbs, combined with his ethereal and pure aura, looked as bizarre as if generated by AI.

[Like my grandpa practicing Tai Chi in the park…]

[Gotta say, his entry on the beat was pretty accurate. The kid has good rhythm. His clothes today were also nice—the long streamers fluttered elegantly, the little bow tie was neatly tied, his hair was well-combed… Sorry, Mom really can’t praise anymore (crying).]

[So what? Let the kid dance however he wants!]

[To be fair, both of them have naturally amazing physiques. As a dance student, I have the authority to speak. I showed their photos to my teacher, and she got super excited, asking where they study and what dance styles they practice. Then I sent her this video. She was silent for half an hour, now she keeps muttering ‘waste of talent, waste of talent.’ I’m dying of laughter.]

[It really is a waste of talent! What were these two doing before becoming trainees? How can they have faces like that and not be idols blessing fans? Have they no conscience? I sentence you to debut immediately and sing and dance for me for a hundred years!]

[After watching this first stage, I finally believe they were true amateurs. Their profiles weren’t exaggerated at all. Seriously, they’re too honest—at least practice a few more days.]

[No time. If their uncle wasn’t going bankrupt, they wouldn’t have come to the show.]

[Even so, this is already after practice (tears of laughter). I just saw a leaked shot from another fansite—they were cramming lyrics on the bus, snatching every second. They were forced into this. Whatever, I’ll indulge them.]

[Yeah, me too. I just fell for them when the official photos were released. Then I looked into it. The uncle-nephew trio is really pitiful. Donghai Media is a small company. The two people originally signed for the show both ran away half a month before recording. The boss dragged his own nephew and the nephew’s childhood friend in to save the day. If they didn’t participate, they’d have to pay compensation. Our uncle Donghai is about to go bankrupt—cut him some slack.]

[So are they planning to be eliminated in the first round? That can’t be! This lousy show barely has any handsome guys. If they eliminate two ‘peaks of visual beauty,’ who’s going to watch? Show producers, I advise you to know your place.]

[First round elimination? Not possible. This first stage broke a million views in under an hour, and now it’s trending first worldwide. Domestic trending is a given. Anyone who followed the ‘idol survival craze’ knows how hard it is to get on worldwide trending. ‘Super Star’ has its first breakout stage.]

[The show just started and needs buzz. They’ll be kept for a few more rounds at least, then eliminated before the group formation.]

[Those who understand are crying…]

[I can confirm: their fan supertopic was created just two days ago. After the first stage went up, a flood of foreign IPs poured in. Now there are more foreigners than local fans in the supertopic. They’re all using some translator that sounds like a robot. First time in my life I’m begging for a Chinese-to-Chinese translation tutorial.]

[Me doing English reading comprehension be like:]

[And they’re all super enthusiastic, crazily asking for info about these two. They repost everything. Once you reply to one, they latch onto you like a ghost. The thing is, I just joined the fandom too (crying). Compared to them, I only have the advantage of being a native speaker.]

[This is what happens when you stan amateurs from a small company. Their public info is limited to the blurbs in their account profiles. Everyone joining now is an original fan. Cherish these days before the big fans start stirring up drama everywhere (smoking).]