I Know I’ll Lose Control… But I’m Still Coming Over

“Yes. Let’s leave it at that for now… I’ll see you at the exhibition.”

Jeongha, who had been continuing the conversation with a serious expression while holding his phone, ended the call in a quite polite tone.

The person on the other end was Haeyoon’s friend, Choi Woojin.

It was the first time he had contacted him since their previous meeting.

Woojin had probably been quietly keeping an eye on him ever since that day.

From their brief meeting that day, Jeongha could tell how genuinely concerned Woojin was for Haeyoon.

Woojin seemed to want to protect Haeyoon to the point where he seemed more like family than a friend.

So there was no way he had completely dismissed his suspicions about Baek Jeongha.

This had nothing to do with believing Jeongha’s explanation.

Even if he had genuine goodwill towards Haeyoon, he could still hurt him.

If Jeongha was hurting Haeyoon in any way, Woojin would want to find traces of it.

It would be a lie to say it didn’t bother him.

While it was clear that Haeyoon didn’t harbor any feelings beyond friendship for Woojin, some friendships are built on a persistence and affection that can be more irritating than love.

Honestly, Jeongha was jealous of Choi Woojin.

Being able to freely interfere in Haeyoon’s life and worry about him, and having Haeyoon’s complete trust—all of it bothered him.

It was the first time he had ever been jealous of someone in his life, and when he realized that feeling, he was incredibly flustered.

No matter how he looked at it, there was nothing about Choi Woojin himself that Jeongha should envy, yet he was bothered and envious of him solely because he was close to Seo Haeyoon.

He was flustered, not knowing how to process that feeling.

On the other hand, it was also amusing.

It was fascinating that the feeling of liking someone could be realized in so many different ways.

He had thought that people who were jealous of others over trivial things were all losers who had nothing and lacked confidence, yet here he was, Baek Jeongha, doing just that.

Every feeling that Seo Haeyoon gave him was a first and unique experience, so even having feelings he would have previously found pathetic stay with him was enjoyable and precious.

Moreover, the fact that someone who knew Haeyoon so well and was so close to him was defining him as ‘someone who could hurt Seo Haeyoon’ pleased him.

It seemed like a good sign.

Woojin probably knew how strong Haeyoon was, how solid and upright his character was.

Those who mean nothing to Haeyoon can’t even dare to hurt him.

Only those precious to Seo Haeyoon can hurt him.

So the fact that Choi Woojin was wary of Baek Jeongha meant that, at least enough for Woojin to feel that way, Seo Haeyoon cherished Baek Jeongha.

Jeongha liked that.

Pathetically, absurdly, and fascinatingly.

“So, preparations are roughly done….”

Jeongha briefly reviewed his conversation with Woojin, organizing his thoughts.

There was a reason he had called Woojin today.

Haeyoon’s exhibition was just around the corner.

As discussed with Haeyoon in advance, Jeongha had sent invitations to both Oh Jaeyeol and Ahn Seonwoo.

They would definitely show up at Haeyoon’s exhibition.

Ahn Seonwoo would have come even without an invitation, but he couldn’t be sure about Oh Jaeyeol.

So Jeongha had deliberately written both names together on the invitation.

Ahn Seonwoo was someone with strong pride who valued appearing superior in front of others.

Going alone, without bringing his husband whose name was right there on the invitation, to a place where Baek Jeongha was sure to be with Seo Haeyoon would be humiliating by Seonwoo’s standards.

Jeongha hoped Seonwoo would somehow persuade Jaeyeol and bring him along.

Considering how Oh Jaeyeol had been pathetically clinging to Seo Haeyoon, it seemed he too still had the desire to show up in front of Haeyoon again.

He didn’t care for what reason they came to the exhibition, but it was important to finish the exhibition safely.

Jeongha didn’t want those two to disrupt Haeyoon’s first exhibition in any way.

That was why he had contacted Woojin today.

He would of course make his own preparations, but the more people who understood the situation and could be on guard, the better.

Jeongha shared the situation with Woojin.

He said that the two would appear at the exhibition, so he hoped Woojin would help keep an eye on them to prevent any disruptive behavior.

According to Haeyoon, their group not only had Woojin but also twin friends who were quite proactive, so they would be helpful in case of emergency.

“What am I even doing right now….”

Then, suddenly finding his own situation absurd, Jeongha burst out laughing.

Even if something trivial went wrong at Haeyoon’s exhibition, it wasn’t his loss, yet here he was worrying about every little detail like a manager or a bodyguard.

It was ridiculous.

“Geez….”

What was even more ridiculous was that even so, the smile wouldn’t leave Jeongha’s lips.

Even now, despite his words, his expression was clearly satisfied.

“I’m really out of my mind, seriously….”

The saying ‘a late learner stays up all night’ fit him perfectly.

Jeongha slumped onto the sofa and searched for Haeyoon’s exhibition promotional post again.

He had looked at it so many times that if it were paper, it would have already worn out and crumbled.

The promotional post contained Haeyoon’s new profile picture, taken for this exhibition.

It was a photo of Haeyoon holding a brush, painting in front of a huge wall.

Every time he saw that photo, Jeongha felt an inexplicable thrill shake his soul.

Thinking that Haeyoon had painted, thinking of him while standing in front of that large canvas, made his heart beat so fast he couldn’t breathe.

This time was no exception.

The moment he recalled the piece Haeyoon had given him, pheromones explosively burst from Jeongha’s body.

It wasn’t intentional.

It was an irresistible force.

It was fortunate he was home alone; if there had been any dynamics nearby, they would have been deeply uncomfortable.

“Haa….”

Jeongha put down his phone and let out a deep sigh, covering his face with both hands.

It wasn’t like he was an animal in heat, and losing control of his pheromones was frustrating enough, but whenever this happened, he recalled Seo Haeyoon moaning and trembling beneath him that day, and it was unbearable.

He pretended to be composed and mature in front of Haeyoon, but behind his back, whenever he had a chance, he would recall Haeyoon’s naked body and tight, hot insides, gasping.

His symptoms were even getting worse day by day, to the point where he worried he might make another mistake in front of Haeyoon.

Just then, his phone, which he had set down beside him, buzzed briefly.

Speak of the devil.

It was Seo Haeyoon.

[I think my meeting will end around eight..]

[If you’re okay with it, would you like to have dinner together at my place?]

At the defenseless message, a hollow laugh escaped him.

Not knowing what state Jeongha was in, he was inviting him over at night.

Should this be called brave or foolish?

Jeongha shook his head and replied.

[Okay. I’ll come to your place around that time.]

He knew his current state was precarious, but Baek Jeongha wasn’t self-possessed enough to refuse an offer that came directly from Haeyoon.

****

“That was really delicious.

I should have treated you, but I invited you over and ended up being the one who ate.”

“Not at all.

You insisted on cooking.

It was just simple pasta, anyway.”

Jeongha took the coffee Haeyoon handed him and answered nonchalantly.

The two had dinner together at Haeyoon’s place, but it wasn’t the host, Haeyoon, who had cooked.

It was only natural, as far as Jeongha was concerned.

He couldn’t very well ask someone who was already on edge finishing up exhibition work and had just come from a meeting to prepare dinner.

It wasn’t anything fancy, just simple pasta, but Haeyoon seemed bothered, feeling like he had made his guest work.

“Still….”

Seeing Haeyoon sit on the sofa, still looking sullen and not easily relieved, Jeongha quickly changed the subject to divert his attention.

“Anyway… how do you feel?”

“Huh?”

“About the exhibition.

It’s really not far off now.”

“Ah…….”

Jeongha, who had asked the question, enjoyed watching Haeyoon’s subtly changing expression.

The slight relaxation of his cool features, the very slight upward turn of the corners of his mouth—these changes were hard to notice unless you knew Haeyoon well and were close to him.

Jeongha was glad to be one of those people.

“It just feels a little… like I’m dreaming.”

Haeyoon answered.

His voice sounded calmer than expected.

But Jeongha knew that even in that voice, there was an excitement that others wouldn’t easily notice.

Unaware that Jeongha was looking at him with a deeply pleased expression, Haeyoon continued.

“I felt something similar when people liked my paintings, but an exhibition is really… it’s different.

Honestly, I’m still a little worried about whether someone like me should really be doing this.”

It was Haeyoon’s honest feeling.

Regardless of his happiness and anticipation, he couldn’t help but worry.

He had even dreamed that he was criticized for wasting time and space as an artist, someone who painted at this level.