The Weight of Absence

…What?
Doubting my ears, I turned around.

Wondering if I had confused it with another voice, I looked up to find an expressionless face standing there.

‘I have completed the task you assigned.’

What’s with the polite speech?
Regardless of my flustered look, Karvan neatly placed the record sheet he was holding on the desk, then tilted the glass pitcher he brought to fill my cup with tea.
Every part of the process was excessively polite and elegant.

‘…Why are you suddenly speaking the common beast-kin language?’

He was only speaking Varg before. What scheme is this now?

Looking up at him with dubious eyes, wondering if this was another way to tease me, he half-listened to my words, sat on a chair, and suddenly thrust his head forward.

‘My praise.’

…Did you get heatstroke? Although the weather inside Midvalen is closer to spring than the snowy mountains.
Or maybe he has a fever? I was about to touch his forehead when I met the horrified eyes of the snow leopard beast-kin sitting opposite me.

‘…Oh! Yeah, good job! Karvan! Thank you.’

I quickly changed my stance.
If they found out I was floundering even with a s*ave, I might look even more like a pushover.

‘Good job, good boy, my! s*ave! The best!’

Laughing awkwardly, I gave him a double thumbs-up, and going a step further, I was about to pat his hair, but he grabbed my hand firmly with an expressionless face.

‘…Ah.’

Was that a bit much? True, he’s not a dog, so patting him might be a bit…
I tried to withdraw my hand awkwardly, but he pulled my hand and placed it on his cheek.

‘You have to pet me properly for a s*ave to feel rewarded, don’t you think.’

He let out a languid sigh and rubbed his temple against my palm.
Like a beast marking its territory, every time he slowly shook his head, his golden eyes, narrowed into slits, flashed through his disheveled hair.

‘…S-suddenly, what’s wrong with you? Did you eat something wrong?’

‘I’m behaving ‘like a s*ave’ as you said. Why.’

What kind of s*ave acts like this!
Even though I snatched my hand away and shuddered, he just swept his hair back and smiled languidly.

‘What a picky Master.’

‘…Say ‘Master’ one more time!’

‘If I do.’

His narrowed eyes are full of mischief.

‘Will you punish me?’

…Ugh, I’m a fool for bringing him here!
I stared blankly at his smiling face for a moment, then rubbed my eyes vigorously and turned my head.

At the same time, thud, crash, a loud noise was heard.
It was the snow leopard beast-kin I had been talking to just a moment ago.

‘Gasp, ah, I’m sorry! You waited a long time, right!’

Seeing the beast-kin who had kicked his chair back and stood up, I apologized, realizing my mistake.

I had completely forgotten.
How angry must he be that I was playing word games with Karvan right in front of him.

‘…N-n-no. Not at all. Not at all.’

But the snow leopard beast-kin wasn’t looking at me.

Even as he fumbled to right the chair he had kicked over, his gaze was stuck to the floor.

‘I’m really sorry. Where were we? So, you said you couldn’t do carrying luggage….’

‘N-no! It’s great! I’ll do it! Pardon me!’

Thinking he might be very angry, I asked kindly out of guilt, but he shouted almost like a scream and ran far away.

The next one, and the one after that, were the same.

Not a single one tried to make eye contact with me.
They acted as if a monster that turns people to stone upon eye contact was sitting next to me.

‘Ah, ah, ahh.’

…Is this Kaonashi* or what?
I looked at the beast-kin who was now stuttering and unable to speak with bizarre eyes, then turned to look at the ‘source of fear’.

Karvan certainly doesn’t have a kind impression.
He has a scar on one eye, a characteristically expressionless face, and is tall and large, so he was intimidating just by standing still.

But it’s not to the extent that they can’t even make eye contact and tremble like that.
I was bewildered by the complete change in the beast-kin’s attitudes.

‘You write well in cursive too. Did Mashak teach you?’

‘You might hurt your hand. I’ll do it.’

But the person in question seemed completely uninterested in the surroundings.
He was only paying attention to my every move.

‘…Why are the beast-kin so afraid of you?’

Unable to stand his pretentious attitude, I asked first.

‘What are you?’

‘As you can see.’

‘I mean, what!’

‘Shall we say, a s*ave wanting your praise once. Or a mate craving affection.’

‘I’m not joking right now?! What are you hiding from me? Tell me honestly!’

Unable to bear it, I tapped the desk with the quill pen and asked, and he raised both hands in mock surrender and spoke.

‘Isn’t the inspector’s attitude too scary?’

Then he reached out, knocked the quill pen from my hand with a thud, and brought my empty hand to stroke his head as he pleased.
As I stared in disbelief, he twisted the corners of his mouth up hatefully. As if asking to be taken care of prettily.

‘Not threats, but praise yields results.’

‘…Sometimes the whip works better than the carrot. So tell me, if you don’t want to be scolded!’

‘What if I want to be scolded?’

Aack, really!
I messed up my hair furiously, looking at the man spitting out greasy words with a straight face.
Why did he become so sly while I haven’t seen him? What on earth has he been doing!

“Woah, Shinbi-nim. What happened today? You handled double the amount.”

…Anyway, setting that aside, there were no beast-kin causing a ruckus after that.

Answers were quick, and the procedure was so swift that I was able to examine twice as many applicants as usual, even earning praise from the Empire scribe.

‘…So. I didn’t hear your answer earlier. I’m asking what you are?’

But I couldn’t hide my uneasy feeling.

‘What have you been doing with my Leviathan all this time?’

On the way back after inspection work.
Climbing the stairs of the main tower with the sunset at my back, I interrogated him following behind me.

‘You didn’t really go around attacking beast-kin villages, did you? Is that why everyone is so afraid of you?’

‘…….’

‘Wait a minute. Don’t tell me the Suras… something went wrong while fighting recklessly like that, …Ack!’

Ugh. Walking backward to see his expression, I tripped on a step and stumbled, but he naturally grabbed my waist and steadied me.
I looked up to thank him, but was momentarily speechless at his expression.

‘Those guys will do well on their own.’

As if the languid expression like a cat basking in the sun had never existed, he spoke with a face like a sheet of ice.

‘So, stop talking about the Suras.’

A sense of foreboding rose from his cold voice that seemed to cut me off.

Why does he keep avoiding talking about the Vargs?
Doesn’t he even worry about his own family?
Thinking of the warning message ‘Destroyed Bahalgras’ flashing red, I became even more anxious.

‘Why don’t you talk about yourself. Why are you inspecting this many beast-kin alone?’

I’m dying of anxiety, yet the man casually changes the subject.

‘What are the vampires doing.’

‘That’s because I’m the only human who properly knows the common beast-kin language. The Empire vampires hate beast-kin so they have no intention of learning the language, and assigning it to fellow beast-kin would be biased…. No! Forget it. I won’t tell you either!’

I inadvertently started answering, then got choked up and closed my mouth.

It’s not even his business, yet he gets serious when asked about the Suras’ whereabouts, while he asks about my story as if it’s nothing.
Even though he slyly glosses over it no matter how much I ask!

Suddenly feeling resentment, I huffed and started walking ahead, taking two steps at a time.

‘Huff, huff….’

Arriving at the top like that, I was struggling to catch my breath with my hands on my knees when I saw two long legs under my bowed head.

When did he follow me? Unlike me panting like a dog on a hot day, his face is serene.

‘If you run like that and get hurt. Whose insides are you trying to tear apart again.’

‘…If you’re not going to tell me about the Suras, don’t talk to me. I won’t talk to you.’

You cheat character.
Truly irritated, I turned abruptly to the other side, and a gloomy voice followed.

‘Are the Suras that important. To you.’

‘…You told me they were family!’

At the words I spat out unwittingly, I felt a staring gaze.
Nevertheless, once my mouth opened, I couldn’t stop.

‘Isn’t that what family is originally? Looking for them if they’re not visible, relying on them first when things are hard, helping each other, not letting them be lonely….’

Actually, thinking like that, it was as if I didn’t have a family.
Because my parents traveled frequently for business, I was always alone since I was young.

• Ah, I told you I got a scholarship? Would it kill you to praise me a little! It’s totally awesome. …Yes, I took up your busy time, Branch Manager. Please go back to work.

Friends filled those empty spaces, but even they spent time with their families when it was important.
There were good people online and offline, but a corner of my heart was always empty.

【WhiteHairIsEnough (Guildmate): Shinbi-nim, you said your family is overseas too, right? Haha! Then that’s perfect. Let’s protect the world of Legacyth together on the holidays!】

Maybe that’s why I tried so hard to survive.
Because I didn’t want to disappear lonely and alone.

‘You have so much good family so you wouldn’t know, but I’ve never felt anything like that. Especially since coming here…. Do you even know what it feels like to be bullied by the world?’

‘I do not.’

‘…Right. I thought so. You’re the one who bullies the world. Being so cheat-like….’

‘But I know something else. What you have been through.’

I paused at the low voice that came over quietly.

‘What those bastards are trying to do to you.’

I expected him to say something infuriating like, ‘What does that matter. You have me now,’ as usual, but when I looked back, the man’s expressionless face was shattered.
Dry and cold like crumbled ice shards.

‘So, it took time to cut down the wicked things that would drive a wedge between you and me.’

‘…Don’t tell me, that….’

“Oh, Awakener.”

‘You don’t mean the beast-kin or the Suras, right?’
The words I was about to utter anxiously were cut off by a voice that just intervened.