I Didn’t Know It Was Love

“Huh? Why… the bed? How are you going to use… eek?!”

“Just stay still, Haejin.”

The bed?

He didn’t understand at all why or how Beomwoo intended to use it.

While puzzled, Haejin instinctively tried to move aside as requested.

But Beomwoo gently pressed against his chest, making him lie back down, lowered one safety rail, and climbed onto the bed.

Thanks to it being a VIP room, the bed was much wider than in a regular room.

Haejin had thought it was spacious enough to lie spread-eagled.

But still, it wasn’t meant for two grown men, especially not someone as large as Beomwoo.

“Ah, no… What are you doing…”

Flustered, Haejin tried to squirm away to make room, as if asking what this was all about.

But before he could move further, Beomwoo reached out an arm and pulled him into an embrace.

It was startling enough that he had climbed onto the bed out of nowhere, but being pulled into a warm embrace, his face pressed against a firm chest, made Haejin’s eyes widen.

He hadn’t expected Beomwoo to hug him, and he wasn’t accustomed to this kind of skin-ship.

Haejin reflexively tried to push Beomwoo away and escape his hold.

“Wh-what are you doing?!”

“They say Alpha pheromones provide comfort to Omegas. If we stay like this, you’ll fall asleep soon.”

As Haejin struggled, forgetting his cast, trying to escape his hold, Beomwoo naturally restrained his resistance and spoke.

His tone was polite, as if saying he wasn’t doing this with impure intentions but for a valid reason.

There were scientific studies that Alpha pheromones could provide stability to Omegas, beyond just sexual meaning.

He had heard it was one of the reasons Omegas and Alphas were instinctively drawn to each other in this world.

So Beomwoo wasn’t exactly talking nonsense, but given who he was, it was hard to accept it as pure goodwill.

More importantly, this seemed unnecessary.

Besides, Haejin was already bothered by how Beomwoo had even overseen him relieving himself under the guise of helping, making it harder to feel nonchalant.

“Th-this… you don’t have to go this far!”

“To be honest, I can’t sleep either.”

“……”

He didn’t have severe insomnia; he had just been tossing a bit.

Earlier, he had brushed it off lightly to Beomwoo, saying he probably couldn’t sleep because he slept too much during the day.

But conversely, since he had slept well, if he stayed still, he’d probably fall asleep deeply as if he had never been awake.

So Haejin insisted this wasn’t necessary and tried to push him away, but Beomwoo tightened his arms around him, as if saying it was actually for his own sake, and gently closed his eyes.

No… Why is he suddenly acting so shameless?

When did he ever apologize to me? And now he’s saying he’s doing this for himself?

Haejin was speechless with disbelief.

Come to think of it, when they had argued about sleeping on the floor before, he had acted provocatively like this and ended up winning the right to sleep on the floor.

While his words seemed provocative and likely to incur dislike, it also seemed like he was trying to provide Haejin comfort through Alpha pheromones.

Previously, Haejin thought it was some high-level tactic, but remembering that Beomwoo wasn’t one for pretty words to begin with, maybe this was just how he normally spoke.

Since Haejin couldn’t physically push him away and Beomwoo wasn’t someone who would obediently listen, Haejin gave up trying to push him off.

The bed was cramped, and the presence beside him was uncomfortable.

But whether it was because of the Alpha pheromones, as Beomwoo said, or the warm body temperature and heartbeat he felt through the embrace, the swirling thoughts that had complicated his mind began to settle.

However, as those thoughts faded, the emptied space was immediately filled with thoughts of Beomwoo, who was holding him right now.

This seems to have the opposite effect for falling asleep…

Yet, telling him to move because he was too conscious of him could be misunderstood.

As Haejin suppressed an awkward sigh, Beomwoo, who had been silent with his eyes closed, spoke in a low voice.

“You must be very anxious.”

“……Huh?”

“You’re in pain, and the hit-and-run incident… And some of it is probably because of me.”

“……”

Wondering what he was suddenly saying… Beomwoo seemed to think Haejin couldn’t sleep because he was psychologically unsettled.

In truth, it was more because his mind was complicated for other reasons… But it felt awkward to say that.

As Haejin remained silent, Beomwoo seemed to take it as affirmation and continued.

“Your recovery is progressing quickly, so your body will heal soon. The hit-and-run driver has been identified and is being tracked, so he’ll be caught quickly. And as for me…”

“……”

“It may be hard to believe, but it’s because I genuinely like you. I hope you don’t think I deceived you or am obsessed due to trauma.”

Beomwoo said the things Haejin was worried about would soon be resolved and naturally expressed his feelings once more.

That it wasn’t an obsession from PTSD, but his true feelings.

But no matter how much Beomwoo said that, Haejin could only think that he wasn’t deliberately lying but was suffering from PTSD due to the trauma of their past life, and thus genuinely believed and reacted this way.

So he wasn’t deliberately deceiving or acting; he was genuinely mistaken in thinking he liked him.

Therefore, his words could be taken with a grain of salt.

But perhaps because his emotions were hard to control lately, Haejin couldn’t help the surging feelings.

Haejin tightly closed his mouth, then asked in a somewhat accusatory tone.

“Beomwoo… why are you so sure of that?”

“Sure of what?”

“That you’re sure it’s not trauma but that you like me. But… you never liked me before, so isn’t it strange that it’s come to this? Haven’t you ever thought about that?”

Was it because of the betrayal from believing he was genuinely liked?

Even though he could have let it go, he oddly wanted to correct Beomwoo’s thinking.

Looking back at Beomwoo’s past actions toward him, he should know he had no feelings for him.

Haejin wanted to correct that certainty.

It wasn’t out of a desire to free him from PTSD, but a twisted sentiment.

When Haejin spoke as if telling him to think about it, Beomwoo opened his eyes, which he had closed.

Despite the accusatory tone, his face showed no sign of panic or agitation.

Beomwoo looked at him calmly.

With only the bluish light from outside the window, the eyes looking at him were darkly shadowed.

As Haejin grew curious about what he was thinking, Beomwoo slowly opened his mouth.

“It’s not that I didn’t like you… I realized those feelings far too late. It was too difficult for me to accept that I had come to like you, Haejin.”

Too difficult?

Beomwoo had said before that he realized his feelings too late.

Haejin couldn’t understand how one could not know if they liked someone.

But that statement, too, seemed to support the PTSD hypothesis if he only realized he liked him after his death.

But… it was too difficult to accept that he liked him? What does that mean?

Looking at Beomwoo, Haejin had always thought he was far beneath him.

He knew Beomwoo had proposed marriage because he needed him, and even knowing Beomwoo gained something, he considered it a marriage where Beomwoo lost out.

He thought it was because he was lacking that Beomwoo didn’t like him, didn’t spare him a glance, and acted coldly.

Back then, even without Beomwoo saying anything, Haejin had thought that way and belittled himself… Did Beomwoo not acknowledge his feelings because he also thought of Haejin that way and couldn’t admit it?

It could have hurt his pride to admit he liked someone like Haejin when he was so outstanding.

But… at their first meeting in their past life, when Haejin expressed interest, Beomwoo had said he would try to like him if that’s what Haejin wanted…

Moreover, they weren’t just any couple; they were married.

Even if it was a marriage of convenience for mutual goals, wouldn’t it have been a good thing if they grew to like each other?

What was the reason it was so difficult to admit, to the point of finding it hard to even consider?

Was he speaking incoherently due to extreme trauma, as Haejin had thought?

When Haejin looked at him with a puzzled expression, Beomwoo hesitated, then spoke.

“I… have never been in love before.”