The Perils of Being a Pretty Boy

Jiang Chen stood rooted to the spot, watching that somewhat slender figure vanish around the corridor’s bend. The steps he had intended to take, to follow, abruptly halted.

The sudden, inexplicable tremor in his heart forced him to confront a stark reality: lately, Zhou Yi was undeniably different from how he used to be.

The old Zhou Yi, while not exactly rugged, had always been a straightforward, unrefined ‘straight man’ through and through.

Yet, the current Zhou Yi… bore a newfound gentleness in his brows, and a subtle softness inadvertently graced his every gesture.

His skin had grown fairer and more translucent, and even his moments of anger possessed an indescribable, captivating vibrancy.

‘If he grew his hair out a little longer, he’d look even more like…’

The thought made his heart lurch.

Damn it! Was he actually seriously picturing his roommate with shoulder-length hair, turning to glare at him?

It was then that a more chilling realization struck him.

He hadn’t just *not* noticed his roommate’s change; rather, he had grown accustomed to Zhou Yi’s present appearance long ago.

It was as if, from the very beginning, Zhou Yi was always meant to be this delicate and refined.

Chen Hao’s hand waved before his eyes. “Chen Ge! The counselor’s calling roll!”

Jiang Chen jolted awake from his reverie, the imagined soft touch of hair still lingering on his fingertips.

Chen Hao leaned in, whispering, “Why isn’t Yi Ge back yet? Could he really be sick?”

****

Arriving at the infirmary, Zhou Yi pushed open the slightly ajar door. The duty nurse stood with her back to him, organizing the medicine cabinet.

“Teacher, my stomach feels a bit unwell. I’d like to get some medicine.”

The duty nurse turned at the sound of his voice. Seeing him clutching his abdomen, his face pale, she immediately nodded in understanding. “Classmate, during your menstrual period, you need to stay warm and drink some brown sugar water. If your period pain is severe, I have heat packs here.”

“…”

“Huh?”

Zhou Yi’s posture, still clutching his stomach, instantly froze.

“Teacher, I… I’m a man.”

The nurse paused, then exclaimed, “Oh my! You’re a boy!”

Zhou Yi’s face darkened.

It was one thing for Chen Hao, half-asleep that morning, to mistake him. That guy was probably too groggy to remember clearly, and he could just pass it off as sleep-talking.

But for the infirmary nurse to pull the same stunt? No, this was a bit much.

He looked down at his outfit: a printed black T-shirt, jeans. This standard ‘straight man’ ensemble—how on earth did it lead to such a misunderstanding?

Was having slightly fairer skin now enough to automatically categorize him as female?

He secretly vowed that once he felt better, he would immediately run ten kilometers on the track, determined to tan his skin back to the color of a construction worker moving bricks.

The nurse offered an embarrassed laugh. “My apologies, my apologies, I must have been seeing things. Please, sit here and rest for a bit. The doctor will be here shortly to check on you.”

“I… I’ll just look. I’m quite steady; it might just be stomach inflammation from eating something cold.”

The nurse nodded, then swiftly turned and handed him a mug.

“Here, drink something warm. It’ll make you feel better.”

A warm sensation spread from his palm, and a wave of warmth rose in Zhou Yi’s heart. He decided not to argue with the nurse who had mistaken his gender.

Taking a grateful gulp, he nearly spat it out but forced himself to swallow. The spicy-sweet taste shot straight to his head. This flavor was distinctly… brown sugar ginger tea???

He felt utterly distraught.

‘Big sister, I’m a man! Brown sugar ginger tea will only make me hotter! I don’t even have a uterus, how much pain could I possibly be in?!’

Yet, strangely, as that warm current flowed into his stomach, the cramping in his abdomen actually began to ease considerably…

Before he could fully extricate himself from this complex emotional universe, the nurse retrieved a heat pack from the cabinet and expertly tore open the packaging.

“Here, lift your shirt. I’ll put one on you.”

“Teacher, I really am a man…”

“I know, I know,” the nurse insisted, patting the heat pack onto his palm without further discussion.

*Hiss…*

Zhou Yi watched the heat pack radiating warmth on his stomach, his gaze slowly emptying.

But as the warmth seeped through his clothes and into his skin, the excruciating abdominal pain genuinely began to subside. Even his muddled head cleared a little.

He stared at the slightly bulging square outline beneath his shirt, cradling the half-empty cup of brown sugar water, lost in philosophical contemplation.

‘So… is the ultimate destiny of men actually ‘health preservation’?’

****

Inside the consultation room, the doctor adjusted their glasses. “Specific symptoms?”

“Cramping in the lower abdomen, blood in stool, dizziness, drowsiness…” Zhou Yi leaned back in the chair, the heat pack still radiating warmth.

“What color was the blood?”

“Uh… bright red…”

“Did you drink anything iced yesterday?”

Zhou Yi’s mind quickly flashed to that large, full-ice brown sugar pearl milk tea.

‘Does that count as iced? Probably.’

“…I did.”

“Did you stay up late?”

“I did.” ‘After all, after watching the finals and then pulling an all-nighter to climb ranks, there’s no way to lie about this.’

“Did you eat anything spicy?” The doctor finally looked up from the computer screen.

A mental image of that oily, fiery mala dry pot flashed before Zhou Yi’s eyes. He guiltily rubbed his nose. “…I did.”

The doctor slapped the table forcefully, frowning as they told him, “Young man, didn’t anyone tell you to avoid certain foods during your period?”

Zhou Yi: “???”

“Drinking cold things, eating spicy food, staying up late, prolonged sitting, high mental stress, emotional fluctuations—these are all typical symptoms of premenstrual syndrome. Why do young girls nowadays not know how to take care of their bodies?”

Zhou Yi was dumbfounded. “Um… Doctor, I really am a man…”

“Oh.” The doctor paused for two seconds, then quickly typed a few keys on the keyboard. “In any case, remember to drink more hot water, get more rest, and don’t stay up late when you go back.” They handed over the printed prescription. “Also, if the pain becomes truly unbearable, you must come back for a follow-up visit.”

“But—”

“Next!”

Zhou Yi stood, prescription in hand, utterly bewildered. The nurse was already waving enthusiastically from the pharmacy window. “Classmate, come over here to get your medicine!”

Zhou Yi opened his mouth, then finally closed it in resignation.

Why wouldn’t anyone let him finish his sentence?!

Clutching a bag of medicine, he stood before the pharmacy window, profoundly experiencing what one might call a medical miracle.

The heat pack stuck to his stomach continued its steady output of warmth. Inside the medicine bag lay a box of ibuprofen, the words ‘Relieves Menstrual Pain’ glaringly obvious on the box.

‘At least painkillers are universal…’ he consoled himself, refraining from opening the packaging.

It had to be said, the medicine from the infirmary was genuinely effective. After taking it and resting for a while, he found his stomach no longer hurt as much. However…

The heat pack stuck to his shirt still made him feel utterly mortified. Fortunately, it was autumn, and his jacket concealed everything. If Chen Hao saw this, he’d probably be laughed at until next Qingming Festival.

Just as he was about to leave, he faintly heard the doctor remark to the nurse, “These young girls nowadays, why do they all love to dress like boys…”

The nurse softly agreed, “Isn’t that the truth? Neutral fashion is popular these days; you really can’t tell at first glance.”

Zhou Yi: “…”

‘Damn it, I really am a man!’

Stepping out of the infirmary, he deliberately stopped in front of the corridor’s glass window, meticulously examining his reflection.

He had been too busy lately to get a haircut, so the stray strands at his forehead were indeed a bit long, obscuring his eyes. Still, overall, it was a neat, masculine short haircut.

‘It’s just that my skin is a bit fairer, making me look even more handsome, that’s all…’

‘…There’s really nothing wrong.’ Having convinced himself to this point, his logic instantly became self-consistent. Satisfied, he turned and headed towards the teaching building.