‘Or not. But they say self-esteem goes up when you meet someone who loves you. Someone who loves you really, really deeply. You should meet someone like that.’
Ji-han’s sister said it lightly with a smile, but Ji-han couldn’t smile when he heard it.
‘…Can I ever meet someone like that?’
That was the first thought that came to mind.
Ji-han sometimes wondered if he really was a person with low self-esteem.
But did self-esteem have to be high?
‘…What would someone with high self-esteem be like?’
He thought of people around him. Friends, family, and…
Olivia.
He stopped. Why did Olivia suddenly come to mind? Was it because he’d been playing Eleven Wizards too hard lately? …That made sense. But why Olivia of all people?
Was Olivia a person with high self-esteem?
He wasn’t sure. But she didn’t seem very low. For one thing, she didn’t seem to care much about others’ gazes when she acted.
They said people with low self-esteem are very conscious of others’ reactions and gazes.
That was Ji-han. Why did he quit Eleven Wizards? Because of others’ gazes.
He quit because he was afraid others would see him as weird. He deleted a character he’d raised for ten years and tossed the game into the trash.
…It was a foolish thing. Looking back now, it definitely was. If he’d quit because the game got boring, then at least he wouldn’t feel this bitter and, on the other hand, wretched right now.
He thought of Olivia again.
Olivia might have been a member of [The Black Heart] guild. In fact, Ji-han was almost certain.
Olivia’s excessive hatred of netcammers could only be understood if backed by the fact that she was a former member of [The Black Heart].
Even so, there were times he thought, ‘That much?’—no, actually, often…
Anyway, Olivia and he had likely gone through the same thing. Yet their paths were vastly different.
Olivia left [The Black Heart] and created a new guild. He quit the game.
Olivia found a way out. He ran away.
Olivia was a pioneer. He was a fugitive.
Olivia was…
Ah, shit. Was he drunk? He’d been thinking only about Olivia for a while now.
Once he thought he was drunk, his head really did feel dizzy. Ji-han stood up from his seat.
“Sorry. I’m going first.”
“Going? Now?”
“I think my condition is bad today. I’ll contact you.”
Ji-han left the bar. As soon as he came out and saw the bar sign, he understood why his state had been strange today. Right, this was Blossom. That Blossom.
He took a taxi home. Whether he wasn’t that drunk or not, the dizziness soon disappeared as if washed away.
After showering, he dried his hair and turned on the computer. He ran Eleven Wizards and logged in with Kang Jaemi’s account.
[Guild] HanamjagaIsseo: Mujeok-nim, welcome~
[Guild] Samdae999: gd
[Guild] StarLightGondue: Hi~
[Guild] HellChangOut: Welcome, I’ve been waiting. I’ll serve you properly. I bow deeply.
[Guild] GimmeTheDeed: lol HellChang-nim, why are you like that?
[Guild] Samdae999: Saw something weird yesterday and slept
[Guild] MangbungExpert: Samdae-nim,
[Guild] MangbungExpert: How do you know what HellChang-nim saw last night?
[Guild] MangbungExpert: Could it be…
[Guild] Samdae999: Ah ♡♡
[Guild] Samdae999: It’s a guess
[Guild] Samdae999: lol ♡♡ Stop there before I get pissed ♡♡
[Guild] MochiThief: No, he’s already pissed lol
[Guild] GimmeTheDeed: Thought it was the guild master lol
Right. Ji-han also saw the hearts popping up in the chat and for a moment thought Olivia had typed.
He checked Olivia’s status.
She was offline.
‘…Why do I feel so disappointed?’
The [Offline] mark next to Olivia’s nickname felt spiteful.
‘…Spiteful?’
Was that the right word for this situation?
He didn’t know. He started feeling dizzy again. Had he been mistaken when he thought the dizziness was gone?
But then. The [Offline] mark next to Olivia’s nickname changed to [Online]. A message appeared in the chat window: ‘Olivia has logged in.’
Ah.
He was glad.
So glad that he wondered if it was really this nice. Ji-han sent Olivia a message.
A whisper.
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: Olivia-nim
He called her by her nickname instead of ‘Guild Master’. A reply came immediately.
[Whisper] Olivia: ?
[Whisper] Olivia: Something up?
Ji-han’s eyes welled up as soon as he saw Olivia’s message. Was she asking if something was wrong because she thought he seemed different from usual?
Olivia was kind. She was worthy of being the guild master of the top guild on the server. He could naturally understand her popularity.
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: No, nothing’s wrong
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: Just really glad to see you
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: Welcome, Olivia-nim ^^ Welcome
Olivia was silent for a while. Had he been too clingy?
Regret washed over him as if he’d suddenly sobered up. That moment.
[Whisper] Olivia: I’m not good with words
[Whisper] Olivia: So I can’t help much
[Whisper] Olivia: But I can listen as well as anyone else.
[Whisper] Olivia: If you have worries, talk to me. Even if it’s just me.
His stomach churned the moment he saw her gentle message. Ji-han, as if possessed, pounded the keyboard.
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: Actually, I
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: Care too much about others’ gazes. Pathetically so.
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: I do things I regret because of others’ gazes.
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: I’m stupid, right?
He really was stupid… Even to himself, the words were hard to know how to reply to.
But Olivia, who he expected to be silent, sent a whisper in what felt like seconds.
[Whisper] Olivia: I used to skip school because of others’ gazes.
“What?”
He was so surprised he answered out loud. Realizing what he’d done, Ji-han hurriedly typed.
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: Huh…?
[Whisper] Olivia: I know I seem like I do whatever the ♡ I want now
[Whisper] Olivia: Ah, I mean you might think I live doing whatever I want
[Whisper] Olivia: That’s true, it is
[Whisper] Olivia: But anyway, I had a time like that too ♡♡ like ♡♡
[Whisper] Olivia: No, I didn’t mean to swear, it’s a habit, sorry
Ji-han read Olivia’s chat carefully, as if listening to her.
[Whisper] Olivia: Anyway
[Whisper] Olivia: That person I said looked like Mujeok-nim
[Whisper] Olivia: Gave me words I’ll never forget
[Whisper] Olivia: I went to school after hearing that. And
[Whisper] Olivia: I realized that what I was afraid of and scared of
[Whisper] Olivia: Was actually not ♡ at all
[Whisper] Olivia: So what I’m saying is
[Whisper] Olivia: Anyone can be like that, and Mujeok-nim isn’t pathetic at all. Not stupid either.
[Whisper] Olivia: Mujeok-nim is just normal. Just like everyone else.
[Whisper] Olivia: Just like me.
After that, Olivia was quiet for a moment. Then she suddenly sent a message.
[Whisper] Olivia: Cheer up.
Cheer up.
Just those four words struck his heart.
Ji-han read Olivia’s whisper over and over.
He read it so many times that he felt like the letters would wear away.
[Whisper] MujeokWizard: Thank you.
After replying like that, he turned off the game. He shut down the computer completely, turned off the lights, and lay down on the bed.
It felt like a sea had formed in his chest. In the sea, waves crashed without rest.
Ji-han fell asleep with the sea in his heart.
#2.
The eleven wizards in 《Eleven Wizards》 were villains.
They were tyrants who cast darkness over the eleven continents, and users had to become adventurers with powerful strength, defeat the tyrants, and save the continents in distress.
The professions available to users were eight in total.
Swordsman. Fighter. Archer. Thief. Mage. Shaman. Priest. Summoner.
And upon reaching level 15, each profession stood at the ‘Path of Choice’, commonly called a job change, where the user could choose to walk the path of light or the path of darkness.
For reference, if the user chose the path of light, the story they encountered was as follows.