An Unstable Vow

“What should I do so that you won’t be so anxious?”

“…….”

Watching Ensi’s gaze fixed on the ground and his stubbornly pursed lips, Agniele was suddenly struck by fear. What if Ensi refused to say another word to him? The mere thought caused a sudden chill of dread to rise within him.

“Ensiers, I…… even if it means giving up my family, I do not want to give up on you.”

“—Liar.”

Ensi immediately rejected the thought Agniele had blurted out so crudely in his desperation. It was likely meant as an expression of his deep love, but unfortunately, Ensi could not fully believe those words.

After all,

“Agniele, you…… a person like you could never truly abandon your family.”

Agniele was different from Ensi, who could throw everything away without a single lingering regret. No, in Ensi’s case, it was more that he had nothing to begin with, so there was nothing to put down. But Agniele was fundamentally different.

It wasn’t that Agniele didn’t love him. It was just that Ensi knew all too well how Agniele’s upright nature, his strong sense of responsibility, and his rigid integrity that never ignored duty would eventually hold him back.

This man was not someone who could shamelessly talk of happiness after abandoning everything for Ensi. He was the type who would smile at Ensi, only for his complexion to darken with uncontrollable guilt moments later.

As this vividly drawn imagination—which might very well become their future—played out, the tears hanging from the corners of Ensi’s eyes finally fell to the floor.

Witnessing those droplets falling one after another as if a dam had broken, Agniele felt his chest tighten. He felt pathetic for being unable to immediately deny Ensiers’s words even while standing before his weeping lover.

A surge of defiance rose from within him, but now was not the time to tend to his own feelings. As Agniele tried to breathe calmly, Ensi looked at him as if he had expected this silence all along.

With an expression that looked somewhat hollow, Ensi spoke again.

“I won’t ask you to abandon your family. I know that is nothing more than my own greed. But still…… I did it because I wanted to be with you. I only wanted you, at least, to understand that.”

It was fine if everyone else pointed fingers at him. He was used to raw criticism, and enduring it wasn’t difficult. But for Agniele to turn his back on him…… that alone felt unbearable.

Ensi whispered while letting his tears flow unchecked. Agniele barely suppressed the urge to wipe the moisture from Ensi’s cheeks and squeezed out his voice.

“If I do that, will your anxiety fade even a little?”

Ensi simply nodded, his throat feeling blocked. At that slow, weak movement of his head, Agniele squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them.

“Fine…… I will gladly do so. Even if everyone else curses you, I alone will stand by your side. So, you must promise me one thing as well.”

Ensi’s body trembled slightly at the word ‘promise.’ He started to check Agniele’s expression but then took a breath and looked away. He couldn’t bring himself to face Agniele’s eyes, which were looking at him so earnestly.

“Whenever you feel anxious or worried, tell me. Promise me you won’t keep it all to yourself.”

Agniele firmly grasped Ensi’s shoulders, which seemed particularly fragile today. Catching the chin of the man who kept trying to avoid his gaze, he forced their eyes to meet.

As his chin was lifted, the pooled tears flowed down toward his temples. Facing those unwavering eyes, Ensi tormented his torn lip once more before finally nodding.

Though they had shouted and poured out thorny words, nothing had truly been resolved. Agniele knew this well, but he was too worried about Ensi’s condition to bring up the subject again. He had a feeling that even if they tried to talk now, the same situation would only repeat itself.

It was hard to back down on this issue, but the body he held in his arms was so utterly devoid of strength. Thus, he had no choice but to bury all the words that wanted to burst out for now.

Agniele placed his palm against Ensi’s exposed neck. While Ensi was flushed from agitation and crying, a shimmering chill rising from deep within could be felt clearly against his skin. Agniele’s expression contorted as he sensed the abnormality.

“Ensiers. ……Ensi.”

It seemed his physical condition was far from normal. Although he was usually cold to the touch, this was on a different level. It seemed best to show him to a physician. When Agniele tried to pull Ensi away by the arms, Ensi shook his head and clung to him stubbornly.

“You, we have to call a doctor.”

Even as Agniele pleaded in a desperate voice, Ensi just kept shaking his head like someone blocking out all sound. Faced with Ensi’s unusually stubborn behavior, Agniele fretted but couldn’t bring himself to forcibly pull him away.

Knowing his own fault, he couldn’t be firm. Regardless of how angry he had been, it was a fact that he had shaken Ensi off and shouted at him.

Eventually, he slid his arms under Ensi’s knees and lifted him up.

This time, Ensi didn’t resist and buried his face in Agniele’s chest. Agniele looked down with eyes full of misery as Ensi rubbed his cheek against the soft fabric, murmuring small complaints, and decided to leave the drawing room immediately.

“Is no one there?”

Agniele frowned as he looked at the empty hallway. At his urgent tone, those who had been hiding nearby with their ears pricked up hurriedly pushed someone forward.

“Ah, ah! You guys always do this—!”

“Call the doctor to the room. Ensi’s condition is strange.”

May, who had been forced to appear, was about to snap at the air in annoyance, but her eyes widened in surprise at Agniele’s voice cutting through her words.

Taking a moment to process Agniele’s sentence, she moved instead of answering.

While a pale-faced May ran downstairs to fetch Nicephorus, Agniele also increased his pace to get Ensi to his room as quickly as possible.

“Cold…… it’s cold.”

The body in Agniele’s arms curled inward. It was a gesture similar to huddling into a ball to maintain body heat in a freezing chill.

At the sound leaking from Ensi, Agniele bit his injured inner cheek again. Was it the agitation? Or the crying?

Whatever it was, his own behavior—failing to consider Ensi’s health and acting as he pleased—was beyond foolish; it was pathetic.

“Just bear with it for a moment.”

Agniele held Ensi’s shivering body close and whispered into his ear. Seeing him repeat that he was cold with half-closed eyes, Agniele felt the situation from just a few minutes ago become drenched in regret.

He should have endured. He shouldn’t have been so stupidly seized by emotion and poured out unrefined words. He should have acted calmly, without getting worked up.

The result of failing to do so was this: nothing was settled, and his lover, who was already ill, was now in even worse shape.

Perhaps he put too much strength into his arms, as a groan escaped Ensi’s lips. Startled, Agniele whispered an apology and entered the room.

Going straight to the bed, he pulled over the blankets and wrapped them around Ensi. Since this was surely due to the Eutia disease, he had to keep him warm. Agniele tried to leave to burn the Sun Herbs after laying Ensi down, but he was stopped when his wrist was caught.

“Ensi.”

Even while his body felt heavy and his mind was hazy with pain, Ensi reacted sensitively to the warmth of the person staying by his side.

“Don’t…… go. Please……?”

There was no way he could refuse that tearful voice while he was already so full of self-reproach. After a moment’s hesitation, Agniele gave up on getting up and took Ensi into his arms again.

“It’s okay, I won’t go. I’ll stay right here by your side, so rest easy.”

A blood-crust had already formed on those pale lips. Agniele held the excessively cold hand and kissed the swollen corners of his eyes.

It felt as if his entire body was being pricked by sharp awls. Ensi stiffened his body to endure the pain that was not only prodding his skin but seemingly kneading his very brain. As Ensi gripped Agniele’s hand with excessive force, Agniele’s hand turned white.

His crushed hand screamed in pain, but Agniele ignored it. Since it was the strength of someone accustomed to holding weapons used unconsciously, his bones could have cracked, but Agniele didn’t care.

Instead, he guided Ensi’s other hand to grasp his own skin. He was more concerned about Ensi getting hurt than himself.

While Agniele was tending to Ensi with such care, he suddenly snapped his head up at an unfamiliar presence. He glared with sharp eyes at the people who had quietly entered the room.

The people, who weren’t even dressed as servants, endured Agniele’s wariness and divided their tasks with mere glances. Using thick cloth to create a sort of cave around the bed, they brought in at least ten censers and began burning herbs.

It would have been best to move to the greenhouse, but the situation didn’t allow for it. Though it was only first aid, this was a method often used when even a brief breath of outside air could be fatal.

Agniele watched them move with familiarity, and when one of them handed him a thicker blanket than the one Ensi was currently using, he quickly accepted it.

As a significant amount of Sun Herb began to burn at once, the temperature inside the enclosed ‘cave’ rose rapidly. It was already summer, so the inside of the cave became stiflingly hot. Yet even that didn’t seem enough for Ensi, who couldn’t relax his body.

He knew Ensi was huddling from the cold, but such extreme stiffness wasn’t good either. Agniele massaged his limbs to try and force the muscles to relax.

“Where is the doctor? Why hasn’t he arrived yet?”

“The laboratory is in the annex, so it takes time.”

“What is a doctor doing, not being on standby nearby—!”

Surging with anxiety, Agniele frowned, but swallowed his words when he saw Ensi stir at his shouting.

Instead, he bit the inside of his cheek, causing the wound that had barely stopped bleeding to burst again. Pressing his lips to Ensi’s forehead, he whispered an apology for shouting and gently stroked his back.

What if something happens to Ensi? Ignoring his heart that was fluttering with anxiety, Agniele focused on soothing his suffering lover.

“……You.”

Just as he was feeling the full weight of his incompetence and a great deal of pain, a shimmering fragment of fire suddenly appeared at Ensi’s bedside.

[I’ve come to keep my promise.]

It was the spirit that had been playing by Ensi’s side since their time at the Academy.