Chapter 95: Unspoken Burdens and a Forced Path

“Unspoken Burdens and a Forced Path”

“El? You don’t look so well these days. Is something wrong?”

“…I was debating whether to say anything, but I guess Celie is speaking up for me instead.”

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong. Do I really look that bad?”

“Yes. Your dark circles have gotten worse, your skin looks a little dry, and you seem to be zoning out a lot. Even your movements feel sluggish.”

…Was my condition really that bad?

“Haha… I just found an interesting novel recently and stayed up all night reading it. How about giving it a try, Celie?”

“No, I’m not really into novels. But thanks for the suggestion.”

Now that I thought about it, I had never seen Celian read a novel before.

The only books she ever picked up were textbooks or ones related to heroes.

I even remembered glancing at one of her borrowed books once, only to get a headache and put it back immediately.

“No matter how good a book is, you still need to sleep at night.”

Yuri scolded me in a tone that, despite my lack of memory, felt eerily like a mother’s nagging.

But since her voice was full of concern rather than annoyance, I couldn’t even argue back.

“Alright, alright. Don’t worry. I’ll sleep on time from now on.”

“Hehe. El’s getting scolded! See, you should have just gone to bed early!”

“…Anne, you didn’t forget about your assignment, did you? The monster ecology report is due today.”

Anne had been talking non-stop when it was about me, but the moment Yuri redirected her attention, Anne’s mouth shut tight.

“…Oh?”

“W-What do I do? I was going to do it last night, but I fell asleep the moment I sat at my desk…”

“That’s why you should have done it with us instead of goofing around when we gathered to work on it. Get your notebook out, I’ll help you.”

“I-I’ll be fine! If I mess up, I’ll just make up for it with my practical scores…”

“Didn’t you say that last time? And how many points did you lose on the written exam? If you had just done okay, you would have gotten a scholarship.”

Not wanting Yuri to turn back to me, I quickly supported her in reprimanding Anne.

Thankfully, Yuri’s nagging and Celian’s concern were now entirely focused on Anne.

Seeing this, I let out a quiet sigh.

I had been too careless.

My friends were much more perceptive than I had expected.

I thought my dark circles weren’t that bad, and I believed I was acting normally.

But to them, it must have been obvious.

I couldn’t let them worry.

This was my burden to bear—my original sin.

—Is he really planning to betray the guild? Why haven’t we received any updates?

Late at night, after the dorm’s nightly roll call.

In the solitude of my single-room dorm, where no one would enter at this hour, I was speaking through a communication crystal.

Damn it.

I was already sleep-deprived from overthinking, which led to Yuri and Celian scolding me in the morning.

And now, there was no way I’d be able to sleep early tonight either.

I had broken my original communication crystal long ago, making up a lie about accidentally shattering it.

But when Number Two visited me last time, he handed me a new one—despite the guild’s tight finances.

Hearing the voice emanating from the crystal, I had the overwhelming urge to smash it immediately.

But if I did, I wouldn’t even have the chance to make excuses.

“Don’t worry. I’ll act soon.”

…Fine. I’ll trust you. You’re my finest creation, after all. There’s no way you’d disappoint me.

The guild master’s confidence likely stemmed from the existence of the Servitude Engraving.

If he issued a command through a scroll, I would have no choice but to obey.

The only reason I was safe was because I was far enough away that he couldn’t enforce his orders.

—But it seems our client is growing impatient. We’ll set a deadline.

I had been making excuses, delaying the assassination mission as much as possible.

But all of my efforts meant nothing compared to a single word from the guild master.

—The last day of the Festival of the Divine. Complete the request by then.

“…Understood. I will succeed.”

—Heh… Once you accomplish this mission, our guild will rise to the top. And you will be the best among us.

Thankfully, communication crystals only transmitted voices, not images.

Even without looking in a mirror, I knew exactly what kind of expression I was making.

—Don’t forget. Every thought and action of yours is in my hands.

“…Yes.”

Damn it.

If this were back when I was Number Three, it would have been different.

But now, as Elysia, I hadn’t spoken so crudely in a long time.

It didn’t matter.

The communication had already been cut, so there was no risk of my voice reaching the other end.

I shoved the crystal somewhere out of sight and threw myself onto the bed.

Just like Celian and Yuri had said, my body desperately wanted sleep.

But my mind, overwhelmed by the weight of everything, refused to let me rest.

One hour. Two hours. Three hours…

Even with my eyes shut tight, I couldn’t fall asleep as the night stretched into the early morning.

Finally, unable to take it anymore, I sat up in bed.

Instead of lying there uselessly, I reached for the sword I had bought during my last trip to the city with my friends.

The shape of the sword, the balance of its weight when held, and even the grip itself felt slightly too big for my hand—but I didn’t mind.

In fact, I was satisfied.

Unlike the blade I had used for over a decade, this one felt distinctly different, making it clear that I had changed.

That I was no longer the same person as before.

And that, if necessary, I could prepare for what was to come.

I stood in front of the full-length mirror, holding the sword.

The reflection showed not only the unfamiliar weapon but also a figure that was no longer the one I had seen for years.

Not “Number Three,” but Elysia.

After staring at the mirror for a while, I pulled down my pajama pants slightly, lowering my underwear just enough to reveal my hip.

There, the cursed Servitude Engraving was etched onto my skin.

No matter how much I struggled to change, this mark never loosened its grip on me.

If not for this damned engraving, could I have lived a somewhat normal life?

I wouldn’t have been raised as an assassin.

I could have grown up in a normal family, being scolded by my parents when necessary and loved by them always.

And, of course, I wouldn’t have ended up in a woman’s body like this.

I wonder what my mother would have been like.

Perhaps she would have been like Yuri—gentle and warm most of the time, but strict when she needed to be.

And my father? Maybe he would have been the opposite—stern and disciplined, but the kind of man who would quietly come over to encourage me when I was feeling down.

Maybe I would have had siblings, too.

An older sister? A younger one? Or maybe an older brother or a younger brother?

If I could choose, I would want an older sister.

She would have hugged me tightly whenever I felt overwhelmed, comforting me when I needed it the most.

Growing up in a happy home, I would have made good friends, and one day, I might have met someone I loved.

Maybe I would have gone through heartbreak.

But I’d overcome it, wouldn’t I?

And when I had finally moved on from past wounds, I would have met the one truly meant for me.

At first, I might have been awkward.

She would notice and smile, amused by my hesitance.

That alone would be half the battle won.

Seeing her guard lower, I would slowly, carefully approach her, never rushing.

Then, when the moment was right, I would pull her close.

She would see a different side of me—one she hadn’t expected—and just as I had fallen for her, she would fall for me.

We would grow closer, confirm our feelings, and eventually, we would marry.

A small wedding, just our families.

For children, I think one son who takes after me and one daughter who resembles her would be enough.

But then again… who knows?

Maybe she would be just as greedy as I am and want a bigger family.

As we raised our children and grew older, they would one day marry and bring their own children into the world.

One day, I would sit with my grandchildren on my lap, reading them stories, feeling a warmth I had never known before.

And when they, too, grew up and became adults, I would hold my wife’s hand under the shade of a cool tree and slowly close my eyes.

A simple life.

But one filled with happiness.

That’s how things could have been.

If not for this damned engraving.

I raised my hand and, with the slightly grown nails, scratched at the cursed mark on my skin.

Once.

Twice.

Again and again.

Even as red welts appeared on my skin, even as scratches turned into wounds, even as blood trickled down—

The mark did not fade.