Chapter 26: Whispers of Desire

“Shit…” Where are you, Moon I-hyun?

I mulled over what had happened yesterday.

I collapsed in shock from the car, trembling.

I couldn’t even breathe. Song Chae-hyun barely held me.

Embarrassing words, embarrassing actions.

My weaknesses.

…

I really showed it all off joyfully.

Really, really.

“I want to die…”

I had distanced myself from everyone to avoid showing such a side, but as soon as I tried to make friends again, I revealed it all.

I let out a deep sigh and looked at the ceiling.

She wouldn’t hate me.

I had heard her say she wouldn’t leave, but hating someone and staying are similar yet different.

You can stay even if you hate someone.

There’s nothing as miserable as that.

I turned my head and looked at Song Chae-hyun.

She was wearing the loose training clothes I used to wear when I was a boy.

• Hmm, since my workout clothes are a bit wet, I need something to wear. Ah, can I wear your brother’s?
• What!? Ah…
• I’ll wear it! Taeyeon would definitely say it’s fine too!
• Of, of…

It felt somewhat embarrassing that a classmate was wearing my old clothes.

• Oh, it fits perfectly!

But it hurt my pride a little that my old clothes didn’t seem to fit Song Chae-hyun that much.

“Ah.”

When I was looking at the sleeping Song Chae-hyun, she suddenly opened her eyes, and our gazes met.

She must have just woken up, but her eyes were very clear.

When her eyes met mine, Song Chae-hyun widened her eyes and then smiled, gently stroking my cheek.

“Did you sleep well?”

Her hoarse, raspy voice felt like it resonated deep within my heart.

I swallowed hard and replied,

“Y-yeah…”

“I’m glad. I was a bit worried.”

“Uh, unnie.”

Encouraged by her kind words, I spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“Um… I…”

“It’s okay, take your time.”

“Y-you won’t hate me, right?”

Song Chae-hyun looked a bit taken aback for a moment, then smiled and patted me.

“Absolutely, absolutely not.”

I felt a bit more at ease.

If it were the old me, I would have questioned how I could believe her words, which were just empty promises.

But it seemed like her words had a magic that made me truly believe them.

Song Chae-hyun soon removed her hand from my head and stood up to stretch.

I stared blankly at the curve of her firm waist.

She probably didn’t think anything of it, but I felt a strange sensation about this situation and the atmosphere.

This isn’t right.

It’s between girls.

But I used to be a boy…

Yet, it felt like my desire for women had clearly diminished.

But to say that, the feelings I had yesterday… The reason I impulsively grabbed Song Chae-hyun…

…

Ah, I don’t know.

Since there’s plenty of time anyway… I’ll think about it a bit more.

The biggest problem right now is that I can’t remember what happened last night.

I often do this when I fall asleep without realizing it, but I guess I was just really tired yesterday.

… I didn’t do something reckless, did I?

After all, my mind was still that of a former boy.

I called out to Song Chae-hyun in a cautious voice.

“Uh, unnie.”

“Yeah?”

“Were there any weird incidents yesterday? Like, did I do something strange…”

“Something strange?”

She tilted her head for a moment, and upon realizing what I meant, she smiled.

“Something strange? I-hyun?”

“Y-yeah…”

With a smile, Song Chae-hyun approached and patted my head again.

My eyes started to flutter open. I was getting sleepy again. Maybe she had some sleeping pills on her fingers. As she spoke,

“Nothing like that happened. How could I-hyun do something strange? If anyone, it would be me.”

“Really?”

“No. I have to stop by the university today, so I’ll take my leave now. Oh, tell Taeyeon that I wore his clothes and will return them soon. I’ll bring them back next time I come home.”

“Ah, okay…”

Does that mean she’ll come back…

My face turned a bit red.

I quickly finished washing my face and tried to see Song Chae-hyun off as she picked up the duffel bag she had brought.

“Don’t come out. You might let your pajamas slip. Those are Taeyeon’s too, right?”

“Ah, okay…”

Still, seeing her about to leave made me feel a bit sad.

I felt a sense of longing…

Suddenly, I missed the warmth from yesterday.

“Alright, then I’ll be going. Have a good day, and I’ll contact you—”

“… Unnie.”

“Yeah?”

I paused for a moment.

… Do I have to say this myself?

Can’t she just figure it out?

…

As I had these strange thoughts, I gathered my courage, squeezed my eyes shut, and spread my arms.

I used to hug her so easily back in the day; why did I suddenly need courage to do it now?

“I-hyun?”

Song Chae-hyun looked a bit dazed.

“Hehe… Alright. Come here.”

She said this and took off her shoes, coming over to embrace me.

Song Chae-hyun’s left hand rested on my head, and her right arm wrapped around my back.

Then she gently stroked my head and waist.

I felt a bit euphoric. It didn’t seem like this used to be the case, but being held by her felt incredibly fulfilling to me.

It was as if I were in a completely cozy place.

But something felt different from before.

The hand on my head brushed my hair back behind my ear and caressed my cheek.

The hand around my waist gradually moved downward…

“Unnie?”

“Ah, ah!? Ah, okay. I need to get my head together. I’ll be late for university! I’m leaving now!”

With that, she released my hand and rushed out, opening the door as if to disappear.

…

What was that?

I thought about it while savoring the warmth she left behind.

… Did Chae-hyun come and go yesterday too?

“… Yes.”

Not long after I sent Song Chae-hyun off, I received a complaint call from Yoo Ji-eun, asking why I hadn’t called her yesterday.

I explained that I was a bit busy and couldn’t pick up.

With a sigh, Yoo Ji-eun said,

“Ugh… Did something happen? No, never mind. There wasn’t anything strange, right?”

“Something strange…”

Wouldn’t showing such an embarrassing side of myself be considered strange?

Probably not. It was just me who felt embarrassed.

Hugging…

It’s hard to call this strange.

“Did you, by any chance, hug her again?”

“Ugh!”

How did she know?

“Y-yeah…”

“…”

Huh…

“Um, just to clarify, I didn’t do anything weird. It was just a genuine expression of affection between us—”

“Ah, yes, I get it. Let’s cut to the chase.”

She continued speaking.

“I called you today because I was worried, but also to talk about something related to broadcasting.”

“Broadcasting? What about it?”

“I created a T-Gather. Yesterday.”

“Uh, how does that work?”

A T-Gather is a community that broadcasters can manage themselves.

Since the broadcasters are aware they’re being watched, it’s much cleaner, and they can freely manage things like post deletions.

“You just create it. They accepted me quickly once I applied.”

She seems to be really knowledgeable about this kind of stuff, like a rich girl…

Or is that a prejudice? Thinking back, she was quite the person.

“I’ll send you the link. Check it out.”

“Ah, okay…”

I copied the link Yoo Ji-eun sent me and pasted it into the address bar.

But.

Cannot connect to the site.

“Huh…? It doesn’t work.”

Even after checking multiple times and retyping, the same result came up.

“You can’t get it to work? That’s odd…”

“Yeah. I think the address is incorrect.”

“Hmm, that’s a problem. I guess I’ll have to go there to check it out myself.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

***

Huh?

“How about we have some cup noodles together for the first time in a while…”

I stared blankly at Yoo Ji-eun, who was muttering beside me.

We were currently at a PC bang.

As soon as she walked in, Yoo Ji-eun asked if there were any couple seats available. We were immediately guided to one.

“Uh, uh… A PC bang! Yeah, what do you think of a PC bang?”

I desperately explained the advantages of a PC bang.

I felt a bit hesitant about inviting Yoo Ji-eun to my house.

With the accumulated images, it’s not that I dislike it now—in fact, I’ve come to like it.

But I still felt there was a bit of a hurdle to inviting her over.

Yoo Ji-eun looked slightly disappointed but still accepted it.

Recently, I’ve definitely been feeling more comfortable.

No, if I were comfortable, I wouldn’t have had such a forced meeting in the first place…

“Are you not going to have any cup noodles?”

“Ah!? Ah, yeah! I don’t have any money…”

“I’ll buy it for you.”

“R-Really?”

Hearing that made my mouth water suddenly.

The smell of Jjapaguri had been driving me crazy for a while now.

“Then… just one Jjapaguri…”

“Okay.”

“Um, can I also add cheese…?”

My voice grew smaller and smaller.

But cheese is a crucial matter.

“Yes. Hehe…”

Yoo Ji-eun said this and smiled slightly, ordering Jjapaguri with cheese and a drink.

“Here you go, this is the T-Gather. Would you like to take a look?”

“Yeah.”

I answered, unable to bring myself to break the noodles of the Jjapaguri.

“Wow.”

The window Yoo Ji-eun pulled up showed my T-Gather.

“Who decorated this?”

Photos of me broadcasting filled the top, bottom, left, and right banners.

“I did it. Isn’t it cute?”

“… Yeah.”

It’s cute, but…

I didn’t realize I had so many photos taken like that.

There were various GIFs of me looking excited, squinting, laughing while hitting the desk, and so on.

I was thankful I hadn’t posted any selfies.

But…

I thought there wouldn’t be any posts since it had only been up for a short time, yet there were dozens of them.

“Love for a virgin beauty.”

“I’m a Moon I hyun fan!”

“I’m a beauty gay. I’ll take first place, haha.”

These were all posts from people who liked me.

There were even comments urging me to stream more often.

Isn’t this frequent enough?

I quickly logged in and gave hearts to the posts praising me.

A clean community with only posts complimenting me that had a bit of a DC vibe.

Is this heaven?

I was grinning like an idiot when I asked Yoo Ji-eun,

“… But how did these people find out so quickly? I didn’t mention anything.”

“Oh, I made an announcement on my Bell.”

“Really? You stream?”

“Ah, haha. No, I turned on the stream right after I made it yesterday to tell people, and about a hundred people came in.”

…

What?

“How many followers do you have?”

“800. It suddenly increased after that phone call. Apparently, there was some kind of buzz about it on DC.”

I have around 4,000 followers.

Thoughts of people complimenting Yoo Ji-eun’s voice came to mind.

There were people there always saying I was cute and pretty.

If her appearance gets exposed too…

I looked at Yoo Ji-eun.

She was taller than me, more mature, and pretty too.

I pressed my lips tightly together.

Shouldn’t I be feeling a sense of crisis about this?

“Um, unnie.”

“Yes?”

“Please… don’t stream too much.”

“Why? Hehe.”

“Uh, um…”

I hesitated to express what I meant, feeling embarrassed.

So Yoo Ji-eun and I spent a long time fiddling with the Bell settings and ringing the bell together.

After that,

We left the PC bang and wandered to a back alley, a dead end.

Yoo Ji-eun pushed me into that corner and spread her arms.

“Please let me hug you too.”

“Uh….”

“Am I not allowed to?”

Why did it end up like this?