Chapter 39: Echoes of Compassion

In the evening, I am the busiest.

After all, I want to make the most delicious meal during dinner.

I added a bit more soy sauce and sprinkled pepper since no one dislikes it.

Gathering my strength, I shouted down the long hallway.

“Dinner’s ready~ Come quickly, everyone!”

Then, two small kids, Song Min-jun and Song Min-seok, rushed out, followed by the next biggest, Song Kang-hyun, and then the tallest, Song Chae-rin, who walked out slowly.

I smiled secretly, relieved that Min-jun and Min-seok weren’t fighting this time, and placed the soup and side dishes I had prepared on the table.

“Bon appétit!”

The four of them shouted in their own voices and started eating the rice with their spoons and chopsticks.

Even though it’s quite a big family, the reason our food expenses are higher than others is because of this.

I wonder who they take after.

Kang-hyun and Chae-rin eat very quietly, maybe because they have bigger heads.

I wonder if Min-jun and Min-seok will lose their cuteness as they grow up.

Thinking like that made me a bit sad.

If you ask people when they are the happiest, they usually talk about the past, but for me, it’s now.

Right now is the happiest time in my life.

Even though juggling college and part-time work is tough, and I haven’t been able to make friends because of it, that doesn’t matter.

I have these kids.

But to just leave these adorable kids behind…

Mom and Dad, you should have killed me instead.

After finishing the meal, I gathered the dishes and cleaned up.

I heard there’s a system where chores are assigned, but I feel more at ease if I do it myself.

They say cooking isn’t complete until the dishes are done, so I should finish that too.

After I was done, I walked down the hallway.

It’s a long hallway, and it takes about ten steps to reach the end.

Stupid parents, leaving the house to an ignorant child.

They say there were several reasons behind it.

We should be grateful, but…

At the end of the hallway, there’s a storage room that no one uses.

It’s mainly filled with my parents’ belongings.

As I opened the door, a musty smell greeted me first.

I couldn’t even remember the last time I put a dehumidifier in there.

The storage room is a more dreadful place than a garbage dump for me.

In this space filled with boxes and clutter, I searched for dozens of minutes.

How long had I been searching? Finally, I found it.

A framed wedding photo of my parents.

The glass reflected my face, lit by the light behind me.

Parents are a mirror for their children.

I believe that’s a saying that penetrates through life.

I don’t want to indiscriminately blame my parents for the major detours I took in my life.

However, as I combine and organize dozens of causal relationships, I can only conclude that my parents are to blame.

I heard the story of Lee Tae-yeon.

That once bright and kind kid suddenly dyed his hair blonde and got a tattoo.

Drinking and smoking followed soon after.

I didn’t really want to believe it.

I don’t want to say that physiognomy is science, but isn’t it somewhat predictable when someone suddenly deviates from social morality?

Especially since he stopped answering my calls.

I know well the mindset behind why a good kid would dye their hair, ride a motorcycle, and start drinking and smoking.

I hated humans.

So I painted myself in camouflage.

The fact that I’m still maintaining that camouflage now must mean I’m still a kid.

I had no intention of living while trusting anyone.

I was just going to love my siblings and live my life.

Until I met I hyun.

***

– “I’m sorry, I Hyun. I only thought it would be a hobby, but I never expected it to turn out like this.”

Through the phone, I could hear Yoo Ji-eun’s voice laced with confusion.

“It’s okay. You really can broadcast. How could I control something like that…?”

I tucked my hair behind my ear as I spoke. I was trying hard to sound fine, but my voice was shaky.

But I really do think that.

What right do I have to control something that was just a fleeting hobby in the first place?

And it seems like the viewers like Yoo Ji-eun more than me.

“… It feels like they like you more than me, so you can broadcast more often…”

I said this weakly.

Yoo Ji-eun seemed to ponder for a moment, letting out a soft hum before speaking.

– “No way. I Hyun, you’re prettier than me, cuter, and have a great voice. Your broadcasting skills are high, too.”

“Really?”

– “Yes, really.”

“Is it true?”

I asked again.

– “Yes, truly!”

“Hehe… really, really?”

– “Yes, I swear on everything I have. So you can have confidence.”

“It’s okay.”

– ‘Forgiving me, the cute girl is a goddess.’

“Ha…”

Even if it’s flattery, seeing how much she clings to me clearly shows how much she likes me, and that made me happy.

I wish she could always be this honest.

…

Of course, being too honest in bad places can get you banned.

So while I took some time to calm the viewers down, I finally transitioned to the bell.

“Viewers… I love you.”

– Yeo Jang-al has donated 1,000 won.
– If you can guess how to read this, it’s 3,000 won: grand.

That made me chuckle.

Did I look that dumb?

“Huh. Do you think I’m an idiot? It’s grand, you know.”

– Ohh!
– Kyaaa!
– That was a surprise.
– English mad movie, kekekekekekekek.
– High school graduate behavior.

“If you cause too much fuss, you’ll get banned.”

They do this on purpose.

If they suck up too much, it’ll make me feel bad instead.

“But don’t you think you’re seeing me as too much of a fool? I have basic common sense, you know. Basic common sense.”

Then, another donation came in.

– Yeo Jang-al has donated 3,000 won.
– Oh… then try this, too: theory.

“Yes?”

At that moment, I didn’t understand what they meant, so I went back to the donation.

Then, I heard the donation sound again.

The…? Isn’t ‘the’ pronounced as ‘de’?

After spinning through it a few times, I swallowed and said,

“De… deori.”

– ??
– Kekekekekekekekekek.
– Kekekekekekekekekekekekekeke.
– What, what! No way!”
– Look at this, a high school graduate is saying this. It’s just a middle schooler, kekeke.
– This is why Korea has so few Nobel Prizes. Ugh.
– The country is done for~ The country is done for~ The country is done for~

“Seems like I was wrong.”

“Uh, what do you want me to do? I really am a high school graduate. You’re just saying that because you’re the only one in high school.”

– Kekeke, back me up, cute girl.
– Can you lend me some money? I’ll pay you back soon.

“Sigh… No matter how much of a fool I am, I’ve never borrowed money from anyone.”

“Am I a fool?”

“The rate of voice phishing victims among men in their 20s doesn’t even exceed 30 percent.”

“Now I’ve managed to cover all the amounts that regularly go out.”

“I still can’t afford to eat expensive things, but I can relieve the pressure from rent, phone bills, and internet bills.”

“Hmm…”

While humming a tune while looking at my online account, I got bored and entered the community.

There were a lot of apology posts, probably due to what happened yesterday.

Even though I felt down because of yesterday’s events, seeing those apology posts somehow lifted my spirits like magic.

• “To the prettiest cute girl in the world, I made an inappropriate remark…”
• “I’m so sorry, the beauty that captivates the country, I apologize sincerely.”

“…Huh…”

When I see titles like that, it makes me feel like I’m someone worth regretting over, and it makes me feel good.

However, the apologies are mixed with compliments as if they’ve united. What could be the reason for that?

“Uh?”

But there was a noticeable secret post that had just been uploaded a few minutes ago.

• “Please save me: cute girl, please help me. I beg you.”

“…?”

It stood out more because it didn’t match the atmosphere of the board full of apologies.

I entered that post with curiosity.

“Please save me: cute girl, please help me. I beg you.”

– “Help me… I’ve been homeless for three weeks. My phone bill is up, so I’m using Wi-Fi…”
– “I’m getting kicked out of the goshiwon because I have no money, and my phone is cut off…”
– “During the day, I sneak into an internet café to charge, and at night, I sleep with the homeless people at Seoul Station on boxes…”
– “Please, I have nowhere else to turn but here…”
– “The weather is getting cold lately, and I really feel like I’m going to die, sob sob.”
– “I’m secretly watching your broadcasts on Wi-Fi, but this is really reaching its limit, so I’m breaking my pride and asking you…”
– “I’m really standing on the Han River, and I’m so scared, so I’m reaching out to you… I’m terrified of dying…”
– “Please… I’m really struggling… I beg you, sob sob.”
– “My account number is 1X0-3X5-4X9X30…”
– “If it’s burdensome, please contact me on Discord… I’m sincerely begging you, please help me even a little bit, sob sob.”
– “I have no money”

“This must be a scam.”

“What do they think of me?”

However, they said that when weird posts like this come up, it means I’ve succeeded.

It’s clear that I’ve achieved some level of success.

Now, time to sleep.

Let’s ignore spam posts like that and focus on my own life.

Just as I was about to cover myself with a blanket to sleep.

That post kept floating in my dark mind.

… It’s probably just spam, right?

Of course, it’s spam. Why would they reach out to me? They probably copied and pasted this to other broadcasters, too.

“Now, it’s really time to sleep.”

But what if it isn’t?

What if I’m the only one who can help them, and they reached out to me at the end of their life, someone they actually like?

What if they mustered up their last bit of courage to contact me right before they were about to die?

No, that can’t be true.

I wrapped the blanket around my head tightly to resist the urge to open my phone again.

But in that darkness…

Suddenly, I began to see myself in that person.

What if that person is truly in a difficult situation?

What is the difference between us?

One is a pretty girl, while the other is not?

If I didn’t have my looks like Yoo Ji-eun, I might not have been able to pay rent either.

I could have ended up like that.

If I hadn’t become a woman, I might have been struggling as a gaming proxy, even searching for darker jobs.

Thinking about it like that really made my heart ache.

That nameless person became truly pitiable.

I quietly pulled off the blanket, got up, and picked up my phone.

Alright. Let’s just check.

Just once, I’ll call just once.

If it’s a scam, I’ll give them a good scolding.

I have enough discernment for that.

With that thought, I swallowed hard and typed his nickname and hashtag into the Discord friend window.

It was a real ID. After a moment of hesitation, I made the call.

• “Cute girl…”

As soon as he picked up, the man was sobbing pitifully.

“Uh, um? P-please don’t cry.”

I was flustered and tried to comfort him quickly.

Is this for real?

• “Thank you so much for answering the call…”

“Y-yeah, y-yeah… but really…”

• “It was really, really hard… no one reached out to me…”

Is it really true…?

“Pl-please don’t cry… I can help you.”

• “Really?”

The man’s sobbing voice suddenly brightened up.

Then he started crying again.

• “Thank you so much… I really struggled… sob…”

“That’s alright, please don’t cry anymore…”

• “Sob… I’m sorry. I want to stop crying… but it’s not easy… My parents abandoned me… I was bullied by my friends…”

“Pl-please don’t cry…”

• “Sob… y-yes… ugh…”

He was crying truly sadly.

I tried hard to act like everything was fine and comfort him.

“Pl-please don’t cry…”

“Ugh…”

My voice started to get a little wet.

“Ugh… don’t cry…”

Something inside me started to bring tears as well.

For some reason, his past really resonated with me, making me want to cry too.

How hard must it have been for him?

“Wh-what do I do… it must have been tough for you… really…”

• “Y-yeah… sob… it’s quite hard…”

After he cried for a while, he started speaking again.

• “I beg you… can you spare me a little… even a small amount would mean a lot to me… please…”

I couldn’t bring myself to refuse that request.

“Y-yes… sob… I’ll give you-”

“Um…”

At that moment, a call came in from Song Chae-hyun.

I felt like I needed to tell her about this sadness, about this situation. It was urgent.

“Uh, uh… hold on a sec…”

• “Yes? A-“

I asked for the man’s understanding and hung up.

I felt like I had something to say, but…

I decided to hang up for now and ask later.

“Y-hello?”

• “Hey, I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Y-yeah…”

…

What’s with that voice, I Hyun?

“Um, um… noona. Sob… I feel like I need to help someone…”